My insecurities all stem from not being enough. Not smart enough, not pretty enough, not good enough. Not just in poly, but in everything. I used to be a total over achiever, but after a lot of knock downs and things thrown in my face, I've lost a lot of that confidence.
As for our rules, they are for safety, not insecurity. Happy Healthy Sane is our motto. If for any reason this is not happening then it's time to re-evaluate the situation. It's worked well so far.
My insecurities are for me to process and deal with, and while they have boiled over into the relationship Cricket and Karma have, I try very hard to not let that happen.