Polyfuckery?

[Ruby]

Well, "polyfuckerous" doesn't have "amor" in it. ;-) I have had quite a few friends-with-benefits in the past, most of whom are still dearly beloved friends. I've also had various playful, enjoyable, light encounters with people with whom I had no intention of becoming deeply involved, and they with me. I've even had *gasp* a few one-night stands in the past. As long as everybody knows what's going on, is not flying false colors, and is comfortable with this (and is not only practiciing safer sex, but also knows the risks despite safer sex), I've never seen the problem.

Two of my three partners have hardly ever been involved with anybody with whom they were not emotionally bonded in some way. My third partner has. So I don't use the term "polyfuckery" derogatorily as this woman does. I'm not into slut-shaming under any moniker. :-)

[River]

Originally Posted by NeonKaos

I think River and others have used the term "polyfuckery" on here before to describe people who claim to be poly just to make it seem like sleeping around is some kind of noble endeavor.

It wasn't I. In fact, I'm pretty sure I never even repeated its use. It was AutumnalTone who introduced that F-word in this forum, if I recall correctly.

[Morningglory629]

Originally Posted by truckerpete

can "polyfuckus" be used to describe the mess that polyfuckers get themselves into after polyfuckering around?

You have to feel bad for the clueless polyfuckered.

:d

bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!:d

[River]

For more of the ongoing discussions of "polyfuckery," see also:

http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2...ry-debate.html

[Ruby]

Originally Posted by River

For more of the ongoing discussions of "polyfuckery," see also:

http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2...ry-debate.html

It's weird, because I've been in the same community as Matisse for years (a couple of years longer than she has, in fact), and while I see a few "One True Way" folks in the poly community, I've seen them more often in the BDSM community there.

I see TONS of "One True Way" folks online, and have for years. In fact, it's amazing the number of poly experts turn out to be "One True Way" types about one aspect or another when you scratch the surface.

[MonoVCPHG]

Originally Posted by Ruby

poly experts.

The mere concept of anyone considering themselves a poly expert makes me cringe. It sounds so structured, canned and contrived.

There are some very experienced folks out there for sure...but no one has any authority to proclaim being an expert in something so broad and individually shaped.

[Ruby]

Well, the one that immediately springs to mind certainly considers him/herself a poly expert even it s/he never utters the words out loud. Unfortunately, a lot of other people think this about him/her as well, which is why I find that kind of preaching/scolding/evangelizing so annoying. Prejudice and One True Wayism mixed in with a LOT of good advice, even if s/he sometimes has been known to not follow that good advice.

[MonoVCPHG]

Originally Posted by Ruby

Well, the one that immediately springs to mind certainly considers him/herself a poly expert even it s/he never utters the words out loud. Unfortunately, a lot of other people think this about him/her as well, which is why I find that kind of preaching/scolding/evangelizing so annoying. Prejudice and One True Wayism mixed in with a LOT of good advice, even if s/he sometimes has been known to not follow that good advice.

I can certainly be pretty judgemental and damning when I think some one is using the word poly to describe thier tendancy to fuck whatever or cheat knowingly or unknowingly

[Ruby]

Well, I would argue that one CAN BE polyamorous AND a cheater (just as one can be ostensibly monogamous and a cheater), but the two are certainly not synonymous. My polyamorous ex-husband certainly cheated on me, although he didn't need to. However, in my book, a person who is in a monogamous relationship AND is cheating does not get to call him/herself "polyamorous" to slide away from responsibility.

However, I am definitely one of those who doesn't have a real issue with folks who have more-casual sexual relationships with several people calling themselves "polyamorous," as long as they are open to being romantically attached to more than one person (even if that's not occurring at that particular time).

[Derbylicious]

Originally Posted by Ruby

However, I am definitely one of those who doesn't have a real issue with folks who have more-casual sexual relationships with several people calling themselves "polyamorous," as long as they are open to being romantically attached to more than one person (even if that's not occurring at that particular time).

Just so long as you're clear with everyone you're involved with about your relationship expectations and are open to hearing what theirs are it's all good. There is so much overlap and grey area with non-monogamy that the definitions from person to person about what poly is varies dramatically. As always it comes back to communicating.