We did talk and came to the conclusion that I have to be really clear about exactly what the invitation into my time/space entails. As for being on my best behaviour, I kind of do have to be for the time being. It's pretty much like being around any new partner of a friend. You want to give them a good impression and make them comfortable (or at least I do). The stakes are higher being that it's my husband. I would really hate to think when they are talking alone that she wonders what on earth he could possibly see in me.
Last night I danced around the kitchen like a doofus. It was fun and made the kids laugh but that's the kind of thing I'm not comfortable doing around her yet. I know that my husband knows her well and is really comfortable with her but I'm not in that place yet.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.