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  #91  
Old 11-05-2010, 01:01 AM
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Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
The benefits of haveing had tenants in the past I guess. You know where you can hear things and where you can't.
Haha! Good point
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  #92  
Old 11-05-2010, 05:18 AM
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You guys are trail blazers I think. Z's dream is to have us living with his SO and whenever I get the heebie geebies I hop over here and read about how it can work so well.

I think someone should base a TV program on your set up to balance those programs on polygamy, that give polyamory a bad name.

Last edited by sage; 11-05-2010 at 05:20 AM.
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  #93  
Old 11-05-2010, 05:29 AM
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I hop over here and read about how it can work so well.

.
Thanks Sage We're very early into this and will share the good with the bad as much as possible. I'm glad that posting on here can give some hope and sense of possibility for others if that is the case. Hopefully others will chime in with their own co-habitation stories. We only know one other family that has been doing this for a few years. They are also a V with two men and a woman.

Thanks again
Mono
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  #94  
Old 11-05-2010, 03:11 PM
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Now before I start let me just say that the first few post on this topic have drawn up a lot of comments for me... so I apologize if this has already been discussed...please be nice...

Ok so I have though long and hard about co-habitation. First a little background...

Nikki..(Me and Wifey's) Girlfriend....moved in with us as a favor to help her save up money for her own place...She unfortunately lost her job 2 weeks into it. Now we have all been friends for years before this so it wasn't anything we needed to think about. so we thought...A few months we though.....It wont take her to long to find a new job we thought....almost a year before she moved out....during this time Nikki and Wifey was involved and I was just friends with Nikki so she slept in the living room...(we have 2 kids) she has one who shares custody with her kids father. When her child is with us our youngest and her child share a room.

A lot has happened within this time and it's definitely a blessing in disguise. I leaned a lot about my now girlfriends (Nikki) living habits and her ours...I would agree with people needing there own personal space. But if you think about how "some" marriages/Relationships work once they have been together for a good chuck of time you start having "together space" the idea of a man cave or a woman’s den seems to disappear over time...although having them can be beneficial.

Now... Wifey and I sleep with each other every night...we share a bathroom and common area. I do not say in a separate room from my wife. So my goal is to integrate her in to our lives as Wifey and I have with eachother...One room we share one joint bath room...shared closet space...shared finances and house/kid responsibilities. Essentially the same way “most" 2 person couples do things....
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  #95  
Old 11-05-2010, 04:10 PM
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Now... Wifey and I sleep with each other every night...we share a bathroom and common area. I do not say in a separate room from my wife. So my goal is to integrate her in to our lives as Wifey and I have with eachother...One room we share one joint bath room...shared closet space...shared finances and house/kid responsibilities. Essentially the same way “most" 2 person couples do things....
Thanks for sharing this Polytriad It's great to hear about others' situations. What are the ideas of your wife and girlfriend from their perspective of what they would like to see? Is everyone on the same page?

Take care
Mono
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  #96  
Old 11-05-2010, 05:02 PM
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Thanks for sharing this Polytriad It's great to hear about others' situations. What are the ideas of your wife and girlfriend from their perspective of what they would like to see? Is everyone on the same page?

Take care
Mono
Right now Nikki just moved from her initial move out places ( a room in an apt she rented) to her own house that she will share with one other person. So she is looking forward to have something that is hers...which I understand. She has been living with people for 3+ years out of obligation not choice. When her lease is up...we will probably jointly move to a new place together. I know she wants things Joint...she didnt want to leave are place...but it was time

Wifey on the other hand is glad to have her home back...she would like to invite Nikki in to our space as opposed to doing her a favor..she likes the integrated life...but has a hard time letting go of the "just me and her forever" mindset but she is really coming around to the Joint idea she just wants to be in a position to make that decision because she wants it not because Nikki needs a place to stay

Wifey and I don't think is fair (in our own opinion) to segregate because we understand how much joy it brings to have a partner to lay next to nightly or a partner to help cook dinner or to call a bedroom ours and have our relationship bed...so if we was to had things separate then we would feel like Nikki is missing something..thus putting into question of her finding that somewhere else....But then again we are a Triad so its different.
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  #97  
Old 11-05-2010, 07:06 PM
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Yes the triad dynamic is certainly different. Because feel RP needs more privacy and flexibilty with her space I would like to see more segregation. It would be nice for her to have her own entry, bathroom and private access to her space so she could be more social with it. All things to work towards
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  #98  
Old 11-05-2010, 07:45 PM
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haha! sorry polytriad, that sounds like hell to me I have just come from a situation where I had no place to call my own and I certainly would be dragged kicking and screaming back to it if it were to be the case that this doesn't work out.

Don't get me wrong, I love time with everyone in the family, I love being all in the same bed, I love that everyone helps out with child care, supper, gardening etc. There is nothing I love more than all cuddling up together, going for a walk together, sleeping together, playing together... but I require a place to retreat to. Something to regain my inner self. I didn't have that before and I think it's important that everyone have that if it is what they desire.

It sounds like the women desire this too and are relishing the new space they have for themselves. I am happy for them. It sounds like it was needed... that doesn't mean that there won't be times together and that that isn't valid for them, but I think if I were in your situation I would be very careful to make sure they have what they need, even if it doesn't fulfill your goal.
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  #99  
Old 11-05-2010, 09:27 PM
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I adore both my men.
I'd love to fall asleep PEACEFULLY with both of them, one on either side of me and wake the same way.

HOWEVER-I HATE not having my own space.

GG has his own room.
Maca and I share a room-but I think of it as his room.

If there's a conflict-it's his room, I end up on the couch.

I HATE not having ONE ROOM at least that is JUST MINE.

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  #100  
Old 11-05-2010, 09:40 PM
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I HATE not having ONE ROOM at least that is JUST MINE.
Someone would find out and be on your doorstep looking for a place to stay. Considering the brood you already have in your home, I'm surprised your still sane. Is is 11 or 12 now? I think I would be in a tent in the back yard - Oh yeah it gets cold where you live, so that's not an option.
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