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Old 11-05-2010, 04:35 AM
minibeast minibeast is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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Thumbs down Meeting my husband's gf... help!

I'm new to the forum, and I apologize if something similar has already been posted and discussed, but I've run into this problem and I was wondering if anyone could help. My husband Binh and I have been married for 3 years and polyamorous for 1. He has dated a few girls before, but never anything serious, and his partners have always been mutual friends so meeting them was never an issue.

Binh is now entering into a relationship with a girl from work that he thinks may become serious. According to the rules we established, when one of us enters into a relationship outside the marriage, the other needs to meet with the new partner. Binh is having trouble convincing his new girlfriend to meet me. He doesn't seem especially concerned about this, but I am... I'm worried that it means that his new girlfriend is not really willing to admit that he is married. I am certain that I want to insist on meeting her, and my husband is willing to insist as well, but what I'm wondering is, does anyone have any advice about how to convince her?

My other question is, when we do meet, how do we make it not unbearably awkward? How much time do we spend together? Should we just introduce ourselves quickly over a cup of tea before she and Binh go out on a date, or should we actually get together and have a discussion about polyamory and our expectations for these relationships? I suppose that everyone does things differently according to their own needs and comfort levels, but does anyone have any experiences with this sort of thing that they would like to share? What did you do, and how did it work out for you? Looking back, would you have done anything differently?

Thanks to everyone for your time and help!
Jen in BC
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