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Old 11-02-2010, 11:36 PM
ourlttlsecret ourlttlsecret is offline
New Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2
Default I think we're in the right place?

Hello, we are new to the site and to polyamory. We posted here as an introduction but are seeking advice from people with a more experience than we do (which is to say we virtually have none). We are trying to avoid having to make two long posts in two different forums. So here we go...

We are a happily married couple of 14 years. We are emotionally secure, financially stable and most importantly healthy! Earlier in our marriage, we experimented with including another person (Bi-F) in our bedroom. At first there was obvious apprehension on both sides but soon realized that we enjoyed it and it did not complicate our relationship in any facet. At this time, we were only interested in a physical relationship and that is what we used it for. It was a spark in our sex lives that is sometimes needed. Well, that being said we had about 3 or 4 different partners in a short amount of time and then all of the sudden, we abruptly stopped! We've never pursued this type of activity again, although we still speak of it from time to time.

Here is where the advice will hopefully help us figure out if we are in the right place or not. As stated before we work a lot of hours seperate from eachother and still have a child in the home. Although one of us is always home while the other is away there is that sort of emptyness from only one of us being around. We think we are ready to accept someone into our relationship now and help fill in some of that space and time. Don't get us wrong, we do see eachother and have time on weekends but we are grounded enough to know that having someone else in our lives would not only be a refreshing development but good for each of us individually AND as a couple. Is this asking a lot of someone else to become involved with us? Is this the right place to seek these answers? We know every situation has different dynamics but we felt that we fell under the polyamorous definition. If so, where in the world do we start? When we were younger, meeting sexually adventurous women wasn't so difficult, but now that we are each 40 and are looking for an actual long term relationship; this almost seems impossible! My wife had a few of her friends over this weekend for "girls poker" and the subject came up because of a recent reality show on TV. Out of the 8 women in the house, only one other woman wasn't completely turned off by the thought of having these types of open relationships. How has the subject affected your lives if this is viewed as being so taboo?

I am sorry this was so long winded but we are pretty sure this is what we want but I guess are looking for some validation from people with some of the same wants/needs in their life. All information is greatly appreciated and thanked in advance! Thank you and we look forward to being apart of your forum.

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