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  #21  
Old 10-31-2010, 02:51 AM
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MariusdeRomanus MariusdeRomanus is offline
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Yeah, there's seven of us.

Marius (me) and Company are married. Vegeta and Ariel are married. Andulvar and Selene are married, too, but they're the ones who don't live with us. AND Thunder. So yeah, I suppose when you put it that way, that's quite a huge plate of relationships...

Thunder did get his own account so he could reply, but I think he forgot. >_> I'll poke him a bit until he remembers and hops on.

Thunder isn't really our only slight bump in the road, it's just the one that we'd like some outside advice for. I tried many different ways Other issues I think we've handled relatively well, and in my opinion, are purely from the adjustment period NeonKaos mentioned can happen.

So now that I've cornered Thunder on the couch, I'm going to see if maybe he'll post his view on things.
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"Love as thou wilt."

Company is my husband. I'm dating Selene, Ariel, Vegeta, Thunder, and Andulvar.
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  #22  
Old 10-31-2010, 03:41 AM
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Thunder Thunder is offline
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Hey all, Ive been hearing that people wanted my side to all this mess and to really have my input. Well as *Marius* has put it I can get really moody or angry super fast in any case. As it so happens *Redpepper* Pretty much summed up of why I act how I do for the most part. When I was younger my mom used to tell me to speak my mind, but when I tryed she just shut what I said down. It also didn't help that I had like a gazillion step dads. That aqll told me the same thing when I had some sort of issue, which was suck it up be a man...... and I guess thats what I kept somewhere in my head. So now that every time I have some sort of issue with someone or something I just go seclude myself until I get over it and move on. I guess I would call it as over the years Ive been trained in my head as to do that as a first reaction. With the recent problem I have learned that after I'm over the issue. people effected by it don't seem over it and it kind of confuses me why that is. Ive never really had that problem or herd of it before so it's like new to me I guess. I'm not sure what else people wanted to hear of my side of the issue so if you have any questions feel free to ask.
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  #23  
Old 10-31-2010, 05:02 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I think people aren't over it after you are because they were worried for you and weren't given the opportunity to help, so it's like something is missing for them. Also possibly, they were hurt when you isolated yourself for them because the only reason they would do it to you would be if they were really pissed at you, and although they know you aren't pissed at them, their brains still go "what did I do? Why is he upset with me?" and when you're finally available to talk, they want to have the answers to that.
Also, you're important to them, so they want to know what the problem was even after it's over. Imagine someone recovering from an operation, it's over, but if they're important for you, you want to know what the operation was about. Especially if you weren't given the chance to stand there and hold their hand.
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  #24  
Old 10-31-2010, 05:09 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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My first impression of Thunder (from both the OP's description of him AND the way he comes across in his own post) is that he is emotionally low-maintenance and relatively drama-free. This is something many folks are typically not used to and don't know what to make of it when they are confronted with someone like this in their intimate lives. If this "poly-family" continues for an extended period of time to the point where you are dealing with REAL real-life issues - illness, accident, child-rearing, death, etc. - I predict that Thunder will be the rock you all lean on during the darkest of times.

As Mono would say, "I could also be full of shit".
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  #25  
Old 10-31-2010, 06:02 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
My first impression of Thunder (from both the OP's description of him AND the way he comes across in his own post) is that he is emotionally low-maintenance and relatively drama-free. This is something many folks are typically not used to and don't know what to make of it when they are confronted with someone like this in their intimate lives. If this "poly-family" continues for an extended period of time to the point where you are dealing with REAL real-life issues - illness, accident, child-rearing, death, etc. - I predict that Thunder will be the rock you all lean on during the darkest of times.
I agree with this. I live with an "internal processor" (yes, our councilor's word ) and this all sounds very familiar. Thunder may need to make more of an effort to clue everyone in on the fact that he just needs sometime to work through some stuff - maybe a code word or something. Everyone else may need to learn how to give him some space and let him work through it. Having 6 people continually asking what's wrong makes the process longer.
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  #26  
Old 10-31-2010, 06:04 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
Having 6 people continually asking what's wrong makes the process longer.
<<cough>>worse<<cough>>

Being nagged, regardless of the intention, never feels good
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  #27  
Old 11-01-2010, 04:25 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Kudos to Thunder for getting on here and posting. Probably not the easiest thing for you, if you like to process things on your own!
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