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Old 10-31-2010, 09:09 PM
cgraham1930 cgraham1930 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
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Default Is Polyamory right for us?

My wife and I have been married for 5, going on 6 years now. The relationship is less than perfect. We're actually very good friends and live a good life together, we get along for the most part, but that's all there really is. It's like having a really awesome room mate. I, however, want more from the relationship: sex, maybe kids one day, a full on intimate relationship like we used to have a few years ago. She does not. She doesn't have any desire for sex whatsoever, does not want children (it used to be a 'maybe, when we're older and established' but not any more), and doesnt care much for showing affection. she says our marriage was probably a mistake, and that she's not the marriage type. we did get married in kind of in a hurry (the military 'encourages' this)

We would probably break up, divorce, whatever, but a few factors are preventing us from doing this: i'm still in the military and stationed in Hawaii, so an official divorce or even a seperation and the military would kick me out of our house and move me into the barracks, then we'd be on the hook for sending her back to the states, and shipping all our household goods, or storing them, or we'd have to sell everything...it's complicated and the military makes relationships so stupid...also, we still love each other in our way, and we'd really miss each other.

she's actually encouraged me to "get out there and date again." I think it could be nice, but could also be weird. she's said she would like to meet the girls i date to "make sure she approves" (she would say while laughing, but i think she's serious in that). She has no intention of leaving and i don't want her to. But how in the world is this supposed to work? How many girls out there are really down for an awkward situation such as this? I have no idea how to even approach this plan, i mean, imagine the long story i'd have to give trying to explain the situation to a girl i meet at a bar. and i'd have to tell it over and over again as they all walk away...it's pretty comical in my mind.

So i ask, this polyamory for us? is this our solution, or at least A possible solution?
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