Wow, that's a lot to take in eklctc. Hopefully some sleep will be beneficial. It's hard when people hide stuff and I guess it's good that it comes out but it can be pretty difficult. For the longest time there have been things I've been wanting to say but couldn't and this morning we finally had that conversation. I feel relieved. Among other things. But it was a really rough conversation. I wonder if triads are easier to form when there is no established couples. Darn those couples and their established communication patterns.
It's like it's own culture. I hope that you can find some clarity about the future possibilities of the relationship. I know i'm having a hard time with the inconsistency of desires/possibilties/structures of everyone. I hope you can find an answer that makes you happy.