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  #31  
Old 10-10-2010, 10:15 PM
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River River is offline
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Originally Posted by anotherbo View Post
So what's your story as far as relationships, these days? I saw you post that you'd been in a couple different ltr's in the past, and in an earlier post it sounded like you're not finding anybody to connect with at present.
I'm still in a LTR, AnotherBo. My boyfriend and partner/lover have been together (living together) for about 14 years. And we're happy together. It's quite good. And still, it's true, I'd like to have another--or two. But there's no gaping lack. I've got a full schedule / life. And we're both reaching out more and making new contacts and friends. Just recently, we've both become involved with an outdoor recreation centered queer men's "program". Just yesterday we completed a one day "Ropes" course, which was like rock climbing, except we climbed a "tower" with hand and foot holds instead. It was my first time being suspended from on high by a rope / harness -- a leetle scary! Wow! ... and last weekend we did a nice hike and picnic. And there's much more to come!
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  #32  
Old 10-11-2010, 01:36 AM
new2poly new2poly is offline
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New2Poly,

I'm both fascinated and excited by the possibilities we're rubbing up against in this conversation about "non-sexual passionate love". In reality, at present, I can only imagine myself into such a relationship. I think I could do well in such a situation. But I have so little experience with it. So who knows. And, obviously, there are perhaps a thousand ways to be in such a relationship. Some folks may include lots of hugging, cuddling, holding hands... -- physical intimacy which isn't sexual, per se. That sounds good. I could deal with that. But I'm also a sexual being, and so I'd probably want to be getting that need met by another--or others.
Hi River,

This is where I am at. And I agree there are a thousand ways to be in such a relationship. For me, the line stops at soft kissing, no tongues. I find tongue kissing too much of a turn on and feel that it would make me disrespect his sexuality, by attempting to cross HIS boundaries. We also do not engage in making out or petting... nothing that can be misconstrued as an invitation or precursor to sex. Touching, holding, hugging, kissing, hand holding, laying against and snuggling are all a part of our physical relationship and our emotional relationship is much deeper. It is very satisfying to me. It seems that I only feel frustrated when his female persona is teasing me . We have not yet reached a level with that where either of us is uncomfortable. But we both realize when he is in drag it ads a spin to things that we don't have in our day to day relationship. Fortunately, we are in public when he is in drag, and so moderation is absolutely necessary. However, I do spend a lot of money on those nights, and he seems to make a lot more tips since he's met me. LOL

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Anyway, the ideal that I can imagine but which I have not yet lived/experienced involves lots of people, lots of contacts, lots of relationships... some of which are very-very intimate and bonded (sexually or otherwise) and others which are less so. In my ideal world, everyone (nearly) would be much more available for touch, for hugs and cuddles and caresses. Kisses, even. And I'd be more available for these, too! (I've got my "stuff".)
Me too. Which is why I'm having so much success with this relationship. I finally feel 100% fulfilled in having affection. Something I have never really had and always needed.

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Sex is good. Sex is important. Sex is valuable. But love is more so. Or so thinks I.
can I get an Amen? LOL
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  #33  
Old 10-25-2010, 03:29 AM
new2poly new2poly is offline
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Hi River,

This is where I am at. And I agree there are a thousand ways to be in such a relationship. For me, the line stops at soft kissing, no tongues. I find tongue kissing too much of a turn on and feel that it would make me disrespect his sexuality, by attempting to cross HIS boundaries. We also do not engage in making out or petting... nothing that can be misconstrued as an invitation or precursor to sex. Touching, holding, hugging, kissing, hand holding, laying against and snuggling are all a part of our physical relationship and our emotional relationship is much deeper. It is very satisfying to me. It seems that I only feel frustrated when his female persona is teasing me . We have not yet reached a level with that where either of us is uncomfortable.
Hi again,

Well, I read this over and I think... hummm, things have changed, nothing for the bad, but my feelings/opinions are changing. I've been looking for a place to talk and some advice...and keep coming back to thinking about this forum. But before I start hijacking things here or (since I am not a gay man) posting where I"m not wanted... is this okay for me to continue asking you all for advice here? Just as a reminder, my two guys are gay and I am in a deep emotional, but non sexual relationship with them.

Thanks,

New2Poly
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  #34  
Old 10-25-2010, 06:24 AM
anotherbo anotherbo is offline
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Seems fine to me, but it is River's thread.
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  #35  
Old 10-26-2010, 05:26 PM
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Seems fine to me, but it is River's thread.
I started the thread, but I certainly don't think or feel that I own it! My permission isn't required to participate. I do remember saying something in the opening post about it being okay for folks who are not gay men to participate here in this thread -- so long as they respect the gay men participants and the general purpose of the thread. So, that said, Yes, of course! Post here if you like! Welcome!
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  #36  
Old 10-26-2010, 05:29 PM
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River River is offline
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A Copy of the Initial Post:

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Gay, Bi-, Queer Poly Men Gather & Chat Here

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My idea for this "thread" (topic?) is to have it wide open for talking about "whatever" -- whatever is of interest at the moment. Topic drift is fine, so long as an effort is made to respect and honor the participants.

This thread is intended for gay/bi-/queer men, but anyone can post here, so long as they respect the purpose--which is to address the needs interests and issues of GBQ men.
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  #37  
Old 10-28-2010, 04:22 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by new2poly View Post
Hi again,

Well, I read this over and I think... hummm, things have changed, nothing for the bad, but my feelings/opinions are changing. I've been looking for a place to talk and some advice...and keep coming back to thinking about this forum. But before I start hijacking things here or (since I am not a gay man) posting where I"m not wanted... is this okay for me to continue asking you all for advice here? Just as a reminder, my two guys are gay and I am in a deep emotional, but non sexual relationship with them.

Thanks,

New2Poly
You remind me of Will and Grace!~
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #38  
Old 10-29-2010, 08:53 AM
RGee91 RGee91 is offline
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Ok I'm back, I just typed a novel that took 30 minutes to write up in response to the questions, but the website decided to log me out and delete the text when I tried to post it. I refuse to type all of that again, so here's the quick version

I moved from Germany to Virginia. sorry about my extremely delayed response

I think I have developed a sex phobia due to past relationships that turned sour after sex, sometimes my fault, sometimes their fault.

I do not trust love. Many men will say anything for sex. i need a guy who's truly attracted to me, not just what I can do to him.

I don't want to have sex with anyone right now.

Currently, a friend I've known for a little over a year who just happens to live 15 minutes away from where I've moved to, has expressed having a sexual interest in me, literally about 2 hours ago.

I do not want a fuck buddy


... yup, that was the jist of it, I may fill in details later...
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When one limits themselves in terms of love, they have missed the point of love altogether ~ RazeGeneration
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  #39  
Old 10-29-2010, 08:58 AM
RGee91 RGee91 is offline
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also, I said that I may be interested in a nonsexual relationship for now...
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When one limits themselves in terms of love, they have missed the point of love altogether ~ RazeGeneration
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  #40  
Old 11-02-2010, 11:27 AM
new2poly new2poly is offline
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You remind me of Will and Grace!~
Lol. Will and Grace we are not. I wish it was that simple.
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