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Old 10-27-2010, 12:36 PM
marymary marymary is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2
Default poly failure

my first attempt at a poly relationship has come to a very painful end. it would have been three years this xmas. not all poly years, but always open in some form.

i am left alone, he is at the start of a new relationship and exploring more casual stuff with at least two others that i know of. these all began before we split, i have no idea if he has started any more new connections since we broke up but it was just a couple of weeks ago so i guess probably not.

i was relatively cool and ok with the two casual lovers he'd been seeing for over a year.

i think his new relationship with a woman I will call E is on its way to becoming meaningful, although very much still in the honeymoon stage (they've been together about a month although they met and were attracted to each other about 6 months ago).

i have often been intensely insecure and panicked whenever he has started something with another woman, although up until now they have never developed into the intimate connection he seeks (and said he had with me). i don't think this one has yet, but i think it will (especially now i have stepped aside).

the irony is that it was me that pushed for us to move beyond non-monogamy/open relationship into actual polyamory.

maybe i am just not mature/emotionally intelligent/rational/developed/self-aware/self-confident/sane enough for a poly relationship, or indeed for any kind of relationship.

how does one know?
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