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  #31  
Old 06-08-2010, 05:22 PM
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So we talked again and were in the middle of setting up the get together and he disappeared again. Could be bad connection or something, that's fine. I sent him a message Sunday night telling him I'm still interested in meeting him and asking if he was changing his mind or had any concerns. No reply, and he's not replying to my 2-3 IM's so I'm done trying. I told him that he can find me if he wants to and I'll stop bugging him.

Hurts a little cause of that darned NRE. Was getting all excited at meeting him and seeing how well we got along and what kind of RL chemistry there might be. But hey, it happens. So either he'll contact me or not. I'll go on with life.
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  #32  
Old 06-25-2010, 10:33 PM
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Post New guy needs a name...

So, last guy is out of the picture, he never contacted me and I'm ok with that. Now on to the new stuff...

So I don't know if I mentioned anywhere (I can't find any posts) about one of the other guys that I started talking to through OKC. He had IM'd me after doing a search and started asking me about being pregnant. I thought it was kinda funny and so after a few more questions I basically asked if he had a pregnancy fetish and that if he did, it was ok but just be honest about it. I think I shocked him. He admitted to it and apologized about not coming out about it right away because normally when he says anything to other preg gals, they freak out.

We started having conversations every day or two, nothing serious just chatting about this and that although he'd ask the same couple of questions each time and I admit it was getting a little disappointing. Then one day I came online and when he said hi I stated some of the problems I was having that day and he basically said, oh that sucks... whatcha wearing? (one of those questions) I ended the conversation, kinda avoided him for a couple days and when he found me again I told him what was up. He apologized and we had our FIRST normal, non sexual/fetish-like conversation. It was kinda refreshing.

We've now been talking for about 2.5 months, bouncing between totally platonic conversations and flirting. We live over 1000 miles apart and he's not really interested in getting involved in a poly relationship but he likes me as a person, probably cause he finds the honesty refreshing, and he's attracted to me (even without the baby belly).

Within the last week or so he's had some romance issues and we had talked about them and I think really bonded platonically. But we've also started getting more intense in the flirting too, not cybering mind you, but definitely suggestive and arousing for both of us. I let him have my cell number and we texted for a few days and then I finally said he could call. Dang, what a voice! lol If a person could fall just from a voice, I'd be head over heels. But that's what seems strange to me. I even relented and sent him a couple pics (nothing x rated mind you, maybe pg-13 though) including one that Cajun took and "approved" of himself.

We've talked about meeting in person, he'd take a trip out here as his best friend lives out here as well, and we'd get together. And by getting together we both think and feel that certain things would happen, and we both want them to happen. The strange part is that I have no clue how I really feel about him. He's a really sweet guy, a total ladies man in a good way, cute in a cuddly sweet kind of way, and I've mentioned his voice. I can definitely see us as friends for a long long time, but being sexually intimate while having no real romantic feelings for him?

This is one of the things that I've been pondering lately, bed rest gives one lots of time to do nothing after all. This question came up for me with the last guy and has come to the forefront again with ... hmm, a name for him. I'll come up with something later ... this one.

I have had one sexual relationship before where I knew there would be no real future and there were definitely no romantic feelings, so I know that it is within me. But that was also shortly after a really bad breakup and I think it was more about feeling desired then anything else. I honestly don't think that being sexually intimate with this guy will "cause" me to fall for him, I'm not really even getting the normal NRE feelings, at least nothing on the scale of a real romantic attachment.

The one lucky thing about all this is that I do have time to figure out how I really feel and what I might be comfortable with (and Cajun too, not meaning to leave him out of this in any way). He wouldn't be able to come visit for 6 months or more and alot can happen in that time, including he could get a real girlfriend in which case he would not be able to do anything other than hangout with me, and I wouldn't do anything with him unless I had her ok anyways.

I think what seems to be bothering me most though, is that I could love him as a friend and normally I think that I would, but something seems to be holding me back. I don't get any negative feelings about him, I'm not worried that he'll stop talking to me next week after the baby is born and I'm not pregnant any more. But I definitely feel like there is something keeping me from feeling more than simple friendship...which for me is very strange considering how much and what we've talked about (non sexually speaking). He says that he loves me as a friend and that he feels a special bond between us, he even texted me after my apt. yesterday to make sure I was ok, and I'm here plucking at the strings of our relationship trying to find those strands he's speaking of to see how I feel, yet coming up strangely silent. Just a bit confused right now but at least it's not a roller coaster confusion again.

Ok, this was another one of my long info dump postings apparently. lol A bit less dramatic than usual and I'm not sure if it's been helpful to me yet or not. Ah well. Another week and my brain will be filled with feeding, sleeping and new baby.
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  #33  
Old 06-27-2010, 04:48 PM
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Best of luck for the coming week! Thoughts and prayers (I don't know if you have an ism...but I am Catholic...so I pray) are with you and the baby! Take care of yourself. Mani and pedi in a couple of weeks or some other me time activity mamacita!
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  #34  
Old 06-27-2010, 06:22 PM
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Thanks MG! Although I don't really have an -ism, all positive thoughts and prayers are always welcome. Me time activity will be getting my hair washed again! lol Maybe a date with the hubby/daddy too would be nice.
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  #35  
Old 07-06-2010, 03:41 AM
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Default Still can't come up with a name...

So baby is here, my little Prince, and we are all very happy to finally have him home and attached to me on the outside as opposed to the inside. He's doing really well and it is nice not to have more stress from what could have been another screamer in the house. He is so mellow, I just hope it lasts.

While in the hospital my LD friend, who I still can't come up with a proper name for, was very attentive, wanting to talk and make sure I was doing ok, but I only really talked to him once and that was the day I finally got out of the hospital. It was probably the hormones going wacky again, but I actually felt more distanced from him then before. I would text him and not get a reply at times which kinda hurt, and the one time we were going to try to talk things kept popping up and getting in the way. I told him how I was feeling and he reassured me that everything was fine, he wasn't going anywhere because I wasn't pregnant anymore and that if I ever needed to talk just say so and he would call.

I've been talking to him the last hour or so and he was telling me about the girl he had hung out with and how he was feeling about her and the other girl he's kinda interested in and I feel envious. Not jealous (if I can't have it, you can't have it) but envious (dang, I wish I could have that). I don't mind listening to him talk about these gals, I actually enjoy hearing about his "adventures" which are mostly pg rated anyways.

I'm going somewhere with this, really I am. lol One thing that I discovered while still in the hospital is that I do love him, but it's different than I'm used to. It's very subtle and quiet, no heart pounding rushes or electric jolts or anything like that, just one minute it wasn't there and the next it was. I'm not "in love" with him and I don't know if that could/would ever happen. But I "like" him that way I suppose, and I love him as a friend.

I'm not sure why this is so weird for me. I have male friends who I love as friends, some of which I find attractive, so what makes this one so different?
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  #36  
Old 07-06-2010, 03:29 PM
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Quote:
I've been talking to him the last hour or so and he was telling me about the girl he had hung out with and how he was feeling about her and the other girl he's kinda interested in and I feel envious. Not jealous (if I can't have it, you can't have it) but envious (dang, I wish I could have that). I don't mind listening to him talk about these gals, I actually enjoy hearing about his "adventures" which are mostly pg rated anyways.
This is very sweet and human and applicable to anyone who has felt they needed something more in his/her life. Not so strange at all. We have all different kinds of ways to love and cherish friendships.
Love to you, family and the new Prince!
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  #37  
Old 08-22-2010, 05:31 AM
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Thumbs up

It's been a month and a half since my last update and I have news! Two news actually, but first I'll start by saying that Mommy and little Prince are both doing well, things are going not quite smoothly but close enough...and here I will pause to re-plug the baby. lol

Alrighty then, on to the new developments. I've mentioned previously about my LDR friend who up until now I haven't come with a creative nom de plume. I shall now name him... Bucky. So my friend Bucky is coming to visit, a lot sooner than we all had expected. Originally he wouldn't have been able to afford it for at least 6 months to a year. He's planning on coming in October! He and I are very excited, we are already trying to plan what to do and we don't know exactly which weekend he's coming yet. We both really want to meet each other and get to know each other in person and more intimately. I foresee some definite physical contact happening, in fact I will probably stay at the hotel with him one or two nights...but I think that would happen anyways.

I know that previously I said I wasn't sure how or what I felt about him, but I'm ok with not being able to define it now. I care for him very much, I love him as a friend, and I think I would love to share myself physically with him ...if that makes sense. "Intimate friends" I think is what I saw it referred as.

The hard part with Bucky is that he is mono, and although he is okay with me being married and in an open/poly relationship, he is uncomfortable and a bit jealous if I mention other guys I talk to. I knew it was a subject that had to be discussed because even though we are not a "couple" we are friends and have strong feelings for each other. I told him that it was up to him whether he wanted to know about any other guy I am interested in or go on dates with. He feels bad and not as good a friend, but he doesn't really want to hear about it. I told him that it was alright and that I understood, and that I won't discuss my dating with him. I'm not a big supporter of the DADT policy, but since we are not "together" and even when he does visit, that will probably be a one time thing (unless I go visit him which is another thought altogether), so I think it would be alright. I did tell him that as far as having sex with anyone else, that he shouldn't worry, that I would really like for him to be my "first" if we are to have sex. So unless we were to try to meet up again in the future, any other sexual relations I have would be irrelevant to him.

Which brings me to my second bit of news. I have a date. This gentleman I will call Carl. No, that's not his name, but he looks more like a Carl than what his name really is. So I met Carl through OKC. He sent me a message not long after the little Prince was born, and he was doing a search for poly people and that I was one of the only newer poly's that he's found. Conversation ensued for the last two months where I found out that he and his wife are in a similar situation that Cajun and I are in. His wife came out as poly and he is working on accepting it and embracing the lifestyle himself. His wife has a BF and he is looking for community and dating. He asked me out last week and we are getting together Monday night for "coffee" and ice cream.

I think what I like best about Carl is that unlike the other guys that I'm talking to, he and I haven't talked about sex at all. Don't get me wrong, the other guys talk about other things, but flirting and sex seem to be most on their minds or at least their fingertips. So I am actually very glad that Carl was the first to ask and we were able to set something up so quickly. He is also very respectful and understanding of Cajun and the possible emotions that he might feel while we are out on our date. He even put himself out as the "sacrificial lamb" of a first date to help us along the poly path. And even if there is no chemistry, we at least come away with a common goal of understanding this thing called Poly.

So this is where I'm at. Comments, questions and critiques are always welcome.

And as a final note, Cajun has finally joined the forums! I know everyone here will be as helpful to him as you have for me, but I must warn you...if you thought my rambling posts are long, just wait.
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  #38  
Old 10-27-2010, 03:17 AM
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!@#$@#@#@%!^$#$#%!$%#%!$%@

Translation to come later.

In-house support error second tier... please pause system for cool down.


Yeah, I know it's been awhile and this post is weird, but bear with me...a lot has happened in the last 2 months... past 2 weeks especially.
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  #39  
Old 10-28-2010, 03:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vandalin View Post
!@#$@#@#@%!^$#$#%!$%#%!$%@

Translation to come later.

In-house support error second tier... please pause system for cool down.


Yeah, I know it's been awhile and this post is weird, but bear with me...a lot has happened in the last 2 months... past 2 weeks especially.
Hi ya Van...waiting for the word processing to happen. Very cryptic! Just know I am thinking about ya and hoping you are ok.
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  #40  
Old 04-27-2011, 07:21 AM
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I can't believe that it's been 6 months! since my last update. Bad Van! Bad!

So short version of the last 6 months... My little Prince is almost 10 months old, my Jewel is now 4 years old and Cajun and I are leaving Friday for our 5 year Anniversary trip and will be gone for 2 whole weeks! (no kids, no family, no drama!) I am poly-single still. Things didn't work out with Carl (see above), worse than I thought but not totally surprised. Bucky and I still talk every day almost and are really good friends. I've talked to a few more guys and met two, one is now a friend and one..."well the ice cream was good" is how I felt about meeting him.

Cajun and I are doing really well. He is still not looking for "outside attention" but is still very supportive of my searches. A realization I came to in the last few months that I keep asking myself... when did I become a MILF?!

I am getting tired of the "dating scene" already. Most guys who contact me are in their early or mid 20's, possibly cougar hunters, and are mostly just looking for sex, which is not what I'm looking for... at least not solely looking for. I figured that the best way to describe what I'm looking for is rather simple, I'm looking for a boyfriend. Someone to go out on dates with, someone to hang out with, someone to be a little (or a lot) physical with, someone who wants or is willing to allow romantic feelings grow between us.

As for the last message that was all confusing and such. Short story is my sis and I had a bit of a flare up since being told about hubby and my open relationship and I went to talk to Elric about what she had said and to get his opinion. He worded things very very badly, so badly that I had to leave the conversation in tears. He apologized the next day and explained what he was trying to say. It's kinda messy when someone doesn't agree with what you are doing but stands behind and supports you while you are doing it.

Now for the prompting issue that made me finally get my arse over here and post (leaving FB sitting for a change). Cajun and I, as I mentioned, will be traveling a little for our anniversary. The bulk of our time will be on a cruise ship checking out Alaska. But we will be leaving and returning through Vancouver, BC! I even planned it out so that we would have a full day on each end of the cruise to check out Vancouver and maybe, just maybe, meet some of the awesome people here. Shortish notice, I know, but We will be there on May 1st through 3rd and then again from May 10th through 12th, the 2nd (Tuesday) and 11th (Wednesday) being the full days. So far the only thing we really want to do (the only thing I remember that is) is check out the Steam-powered clock(?) (have to look it up before we leave Friday). Not sure what else to do, so even if you can't/don't want to meet us, any ideas on things to do in Vancouver would be appreciated.

Now didn't y'all miss my long posts? lol
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