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  #21  
Old 10-26-2010, 10:58 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Don't mind a bit.

Nick names like "Flea" and "puppy".....Wow....kinda odd.....Are you going to nickname your new interest "Kat"? LOL I'm joking.
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  #22  
Old 10-27-2010, 03:15 AM
SkeeterV SkeeterV is offline
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Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
Don't mind a bit.

Nick names like "Flea" and "puppy".....Wow....kinda odd.....Are you going to nickname your new interest "Kat"? LOL I'm joking.
I didn't come up with those names, they did. Those are what they call each other. Actually "Kat" isn't a bad name, she has three of them.
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  #23  
Old 10-27-2010, 06:00 PM
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Myzka Myzka is offline
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Well, quick update. I let her know that Flea was going to spend a week with her friend. I figured that she would ask me if I was jealous, or worried, and I would use that as a starting point.

...

By the way, this is only the second time Flea has gone to see Puppy, and the first time was only overnight, and I had a complete emotional meltdown. This time she's gonna be gone for four days. I'm on day two, and I'm getting a little stir crazy. It's funny how you get used to someone being around all of the time. We've only been poly for about seven months now and the first couple of months were tough for me. Just thought I'd vent a little, hope yaíll donít mind.
Hey SkeeterV...your name reminded me of Rita Skeeter from Harry Potter haha

Did you actually say that your wife is going to spend time with a friend or a boyfriend to your lady of interest?

I like the name little Flea, it's super cute!!

And no, no one minds...stay strong!
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  #24  
Old 10-30-2010, 05:09 PM
SkeeterV SkeeterV is offline
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Update!

What a crazy week this has been. I read on here about the "poly rollercoaster" and now i know what that means.
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did you actually say that your wife is going to spend time with a friend or a boyfriend to your lady of interest?
No, I didnít say boyfriend. But the fact that my wife is spending four days in another state with another man, I figured would be enough to start the questions rolling. It took longer than I thought. I told her Sunday, and she didnít start asking questions until Wednesday. She asked all sorts of questions about my marriage, how happy we are, how did I know I wanted to marry her, etc. I slowly laid out the facts that Flea and I trust each other and that I have free reign to pretty much do as I please. Yesterday I finally told her the exact nature of our relationship. I think it kind of overwhelmed her. At first I think she thought I was telling her that Flea was cheating on me. Then she started to understand what I was saying. Sheís floored by the fact that I'm okay with Flea sleeping with another man. She asked me where she fits into all of this. I told her that she fit wherever she wants to, and I reassured her that I am not trying to trick, or pressure her into anything she doesnít want.

I explained the concept of poly to her and told her that it's not about the sex, but making connections with other people. She basically said that she would have to sleep on it so she could get a better perspective. She usually emails me in the mornings, and it's now just past noon. Havenít heard anything yet. I really care for her as a friend, and I hope this hasnít jeopardized that.
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  #25  
Old 10-30-2010, 06:53 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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SkeeterV,
It very well could. HOWEVER, it could go the other way also. No-one knows for sure. I'll tell you the same thing I tell my wife when she is feeling ignored by her boyfriend; Let it ride and wait for the fall out....or the build up.

You see, she could have been too busy to shoot off an e-mail this morning. You said "usually", which implies that she doesn't ALWAYS e-mail in the mornings. Be patient, and be confident that if she truly IS a "friend", then she will accept you for who and what you are....No matter what. And it could POSSIBLY move to more than just "friends".

I know this doesn't help much, but please try to be patient and look for the best first.....Instead of the other way around.
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  #26  
Old 10-31-2010, 02:51 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by SkeeterV View Post
I explained the concept of poly to her and told her that it's not about the sex, but making connections with other people. She basically said that she would have to sleep on it so she could get a better perspective. She usually emails me in the mornings, and it's now just past noon. Havenít heard anything yet. I really care for her as a friend, and I hope this hasnít jeopardized that.
Give it time. This concept is a difficult one. Even for people in the know of open relationships. My "conversion" from being open to understand poly was a brutal one. My cousin who is in an open relationship, still can't quite grasp poly.

You might find she went home and started googling the crap out of it
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  #27  
Old 11-02-2010, 10:02 PM
SkeeterV SkeeterV is offline
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Holy cow! The last few days have been wild. She emailed me back and told me she had been thinking about what I had said, and then we talked on the phone for EIGHT HOURS!! I donít even like to talk on the phone. Anyway, to make a long story short, I'm flying out to Boston after Thanksgiving to see her. Talk about a quick turnaround. Thank you everyone for your advice and support. It made a big difference.
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  #28  
Old 11-02-2010, 10:27 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Awesome SkeeterV
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  #29  
Old 11-03-2010, 01:31 AM
unusuality unusuality is offline
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OMG!! Skeeter I am SOOOO happy 4 u!! I feel like I'M the one about to have a new SO!! I guess this is the meaning of "compersion". Something like that. But congrats on things popping off for you! I'll feel just as elated when I meet mine! THANKS for sharing!
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  #30  
Old 11-03-2010, 01:35 AM
unusuality unusuality is offline
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I'll keep reading to learn more from you guys
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