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  #11  
Old 10-24-2010, 09:38 PM
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MariusdeRomanus MariusdeRomanus is offline
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It is exactly like tetris, only we don't have cool tecno themes. @Redpepper

It's a great idea that maybe we'll just shuffle partners every night or so, but this is the very beginning and we're still sifting through adjustments. Some boundaries made have been that primaries go to bed with their primaries. Company and I tried to sleep in Thunder's bed, but he sprawls a lot and it made Company grumpy. Ariel and Vegeta have also invited him to sleep in their bed pretty often.

<.< That's why we're thinking of a "mattress room", but Ariel would like to wait until after some family visits next month to do it. @ GS

It could be possible at some point way in the future that we would all be primary with each other. As of right now, no one can really see it that way. So everyone has their primaries, and everyone else is secondary. @Athena
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  #12  
Old 10-24-2010, 10:03 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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So does that mean Thunder is secondary to everyone? I think I would be moody too.

Is there room for growth in the household, ie will Thunder be able to bring his own primary in, should he find someone?
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  #13  
Old 10-25-2010, 06:04 PM
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There is definitely room for Thunder to find someone and bring them in, at least in my opinion. I'm not sure what the others think, so it's definitely something for us to talk about.
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  #14  
Old 10-25-2010, 06:36 PM
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This is Company reporting in. Here's some more about the situlation:

Thunder is a lonely fellow who wants someone to cuddle. He and I have had a talk about the possibility of him 'wooing' Marius or I in an attempt to bridge the gap between secondary and primary. The possibility exists, but neither of us are cheap dates, if you catch my meaning. There's an emotional investiture that we're looking for that he might not be ready for; he's having difficulty opening up fully. Do you know what he said to me the other day? Do you know what his bitch ass said to me? He said, "I don't have feelings." I should kick him in the teeth.

Marius, sitting beside me, would like to point out that we know he's lying. Hence, the teeth kicking.

This is a huge adjustment for all of us. Before this relationship I was the sort to be quite comfortable stewing in pessimism. When you have six people counting on you for support, one must needs muster enough hope to feed the family. Ariel is having issues with jealousy and Vegeta is resisting the need to find her own voice instead of letting others speak for her. Those other two guys (Andulvar & Selene), I don't know what they're doing. They're new, we're breaking them in still

The practical reality is that it all might completely explode and fall apart because too many people are adjusting at once, and we have little in the way of stability or foundation. For better or for worse, everyone in the relationship has agreed that we're determined not to let that happen.

Slow to act, quick to commit. We'll keep you all updated so you can watch the drama unfold!

Marius wants to point out that we are not, in fact, a sitcom.

Company disagrees.
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  #15  
Old 10-25-2010, 07:59 PM
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One does indeed need to muster up hope to feed the family. I agree entirely, there is no room for pessamisim and negativity in poly, especially with a big tribe. Its just not productive and can be the result of its failure I think.
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  #16  
Old 10-25-2010, 10:02 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Company View Post
This is Company reporting in. Here's some more about the situlation:

Thunder is a lonely fellow who wants someone to cuddle. He and I have had a talk about the possibility of him 'wooing' Marius or I in an attempt to bridge the gap between secondary and primary. The possibility exists, but neither of us are cheap dates, if you catch my meaning. There's an emotional investiture that we're looking for that he might not be ready for; he's having difficulty opening up fully. Do you know what he said to me the other day? Do you know what his bitch ass said to me? He said, "I don't have feelings." I should kick him in the teeth.

Marius, sitting beside me, would like to point out that we know he's lying. Hence, the teeth kicking.

This is a huge adjustment for all of us. Before this relationship I was the sort to be quite comfortable stewing in pessimism. When you have six people counting on you for support, one must needs muster enough hope to feed the family. Ariel is having issues with jealousy and Vegeta is resisting the need to find her own voice instead of letting others speak for her. Those other two guys (Andulvar & Selene), I don't know what they're doing. They're new, we're breaking them in still

The practical reality is that it all might completely explode and fall apart because too many people are adjusting at once, and we have little in the way of stability or foundation. For better or for worse, everyone in the relationship has agreed that we're determined not to let that happen.

Slow to act, quick to commit. We'll keep you all updated so you can watch the drama unfold!

Marius wants to point out that we are not, in fact, a sitcom.

Company disagrees.
Assuming you wrote this tongue-in-cheek, I think I like you, Company.

How did you all meet and from there decide to live in a poly config?
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  #17  
Old 10-26-2010, 02:59 AM
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MariusdeRomanus MariusdeRomanus is offline
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@ TruckerPete: We have the same very close-knit history together as we do a relationship.

I've known Selene the longest; we went to the same elementary school she was a grade above me. Oddly enough, we didn't say one word to each other until seventh grade and we were sitting out of P.E. on the same day-- and didn't say anything more than one sentence each until we met again in high school. We became very, very close friends via email (even though we lived very close), and began spending more and more time together the more time went on. She first told me she loved me when I was seventeen or so; the age may not be clear, but I'll always remember it. We now go to college together and have many of our classes together.

I did happen to get kicked out of that high school, and had to go to a different one closer to my house where I met Thunder and Vegeta. We were all in the same graduating class, and we spent almost every day together in senior year and beyond.

Selene introduced me to Company, whom she met on a forum. We all live in California, but Company used to live in Ohio. I became involved with Company almost immediately, and we married the same year. <3

About a year or so after Company and I married, Selene met Andulvar through her work and began dating him, and Vegeta and Ariel met online and began dating.

Things between all of us certainly didn't all start smoothly. For instance, I didn't like Andulvar at all when we first met, and I gave Ariel a very bad first impression. Almost nobody liked Company at first. Through the years we've known each other, the wrinkles have been slowly smoothed out...

Selene and Andulvar moved out on their own almost a year ago, and we've had more than a few encounters which made the term "polyamory" jump into our minds. At first we had a lot of problems finding a way for it to work and decided not to. That seemed like an end to the idea for a long time.

Then a month ago, Vegeta, Ariel, and Thunder got their first place in the same neighborhood as Andulvar and Selene. Little did anyone know, they'd begun their own polyamorous relationship (Thunder had wanted to keep it under wraps for his own reasons). Around the same time, Company and I were kicked out of my parents' house, and the three of them had the more room to take us in.

Ariel just pointed out to me that if we had stayed with Andulvar and Selene, this would never have happened. Interesting idea; obviously, there's no way to prove it, but Thunder is secretive enough that it's probably true.

This whole relationship was a surprise to me, because they talked about the possibility of it while I wasn't around a lot, and usually at school. I was also still upset about the tense situation with my parents, though the three of them were very, very there for me the entire time.

... Vegeta kept tapping her chest and saying "This is your home."
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Company is my husband. I'm dating Selene, Ariel, Vegeta, Thunder, and Andulvar.
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