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  #91  
Old 10-14-2010, 11:30 PM
inlovewith2 inlovewith2 is offline
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Default As per a recent conversation

DW had said that if given the opportunity (R would not communicate with him; I am no longer dating him as a result), he would thank R. I was a bit shocked and asked him to elaborate and he said that we are so much closer than we ever were--that even we were coasting in neutral and that this has taken our relationship to new heights (a paraphrase of course).

For me, I would add the opportunities to learn--even though two people that I've dated have fallen to the wayside, I learned a lot about them and myself. Not to mention wonderful people in our lives--my boyfriend B and DW's girlfriend K. We would never have known them had it not been for our exploration into poly and they have both enriched out lives in so many ways.

In short, a resounding yes from our camp!!! We hope to be posting more of an update as well as a plethora of questions as our relationships deepen!!!

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  #92  
Old 10-20-2010, 03:38 PM
Ragabash Ragabash is offline
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As Tonberry and I mentioned in our blog, one of the advantages is that if someone doesn't feel the same about you as you do about them you can keep a place for them in your life without feeling like you're holding your life still on that hope.
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  #93  
Old 10-20-2010, 05:58 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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On top of what Raga mentioned (keeping a place in your heart for someone without needing to put your life on hold) I think a big thing is the constant support. It's like being part of a big family where everyone cares for everyone and helps everyone through things. When you're used to being all alone even wen surrounded by people, it means a lot to have partners or metamours you can trust, feel close to or just tell anything to.
Also, in a monogamous relationship, you can't ever share the giddiness of falling in love again, or be comforted when turned down. Not by a partner, at least, only by a friend, and as good as friends are, partners allow you to remember that there are people who did love you the way you were, and still do, and therefore you're not defective or flawed when you get rejected. It's so easy to feel bad about yourself when you are rejected, but existing partners allow you to feel more secure about yourself and take things better.
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  #94  
Old 10-24-2010, 04:56 PM
Germaine72 Germaine72 is offline
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the benefits for me being in a poly relationship...good question
i always was a monogamus lady in my relationship with my husband...but somehow felt there was something missing..not for me, but for him...so i told him it would be ok to me if he would find a GF, but that i wanted to be open about everything with that, and that the lady and i would meet eachother, and know eachother.
my husbands jaw dropped when i told him this...he never expected this from me
but i told him, that this would work 2 ways...if i would find somebody myself, i should have his aproval as wel.

he had to think for some time about the proposal i made, and before everybody asks..nope we didnt have a bad relationship at al, and this wasnt something i did to "save" my marriage, because my marriage was and stil is wonderfull.
i just thought this was something that cpuld broaden our world, and since im bisexual, have allot of opportunities for us..

after some time, and allot of talking, we decided to find a pretty lady for him, which we did, and i loked her very much, they had lots of fun together, and i loved hearing his excitement when he got home from her, because i got excited by that to. sadly this relationship ended when she found a BF, who wasnt into poly. at the moment my husband doesnt have an relationship with somebody else, but is perfectly fine with that,and he always says to me, that he is happy because im happy..

few weeks later i found my current BF..a sweet guy, single, no time for a steady relationship because of the job he had, but looking for somebody that he could feel like home with, without any attachments. he knows my husband, and they are ok with eachother.
he is my best friend, and we talk to eachother everyday, on msn ,on phone, etc, and every few weeks, we have an evening for ourselves in his house. and when i get home, back to my husband.i feel sooooo loved..and i feel soooo in love with my husband..its strange to discribe

ofcourse, if i would tell people about my BF , it would not be accepted from the most of them..and because my husband and i have a beautifull daughter, we keep it quiet for her as wel...because i think she has to find out for herself what she wants in life, and not being influenced from me and my husband..or being bullied about that from other people.


so..what have i got out of this? a happy husband, who knows that im not jealous if he looks at other woman, and even encourage him if he finds someone cute,
a happy boyfriendm which tells me that he never would have dreamed to sleep with a lady like me, who loves me, respects me, and makes me feel happy, and i make him feel happy as wel.
overal....im a happy happy person, i love my 2 men, and they love me! the 3 of us are happy with the relationship we are in..and thats the only thing that counts!


sorry for opening op like this....but im happy i found this forum, and finaly can tel people about the relationships i have, without being judged...

thanx all
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advantages of poly, commitment, connection, mono poly, mono/poly, perseverence, risk taking

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