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Old 10-18-2010, 05:42 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Originally Posted by rabbit View Post
someone should probably put up a good definition of polyamory so it's all in one place.
We tried this once rabbit and it lead to a HUGE argument. It turns out we all get to decide what OUR personal poly is.

I'm sorry to hear about your break up GC. I hope you are doing okay... sorry also for the hyjack, but polyandry, polygyny and polygamy are different from polyamory. Polyamory is about having the right to have other partners and loves in your life if you want to and feel it suits you. The other three are about constricting rights as I am to understand. A woman who has two husbands/primaries (such as I do btw) would be under the understanding that her men would not be able to go out and find other lovers, even if they wanted to. It would be a one vagina policy (OVP). A man that has two wives/primaries would have a one penis policy (OPP) in a polygyny arrangement and the women would not be able to go and find other lovers even if they wanted to. The distinction is rights.

I identify as polyamorous because I believe that everyone should have the right to decide what they do with their bodies and their love. I have two primaries that have chosen me, but they have every right to go and find another if they chose. Perhaps the men you talk to about this GC think that their rights are being determined by you and its a turn off. Perhaps in this case figuring out a word that best describes you would be more helpful. Unless of course you mean that the men you want to be in a primary relationship with you would want to covet and have to yourself even if this is not what works for them? Agreeing to being with you only because you are mono is different than agreeing against what you feel comfortable with when you wish you had the right to go and find other partners... does that make sense?
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