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  #11  
Old 10-16-2010, 03:16 AM
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ray ray is offline
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Gosh, I'm not sure what I would do. I'd feel pretty conflicted since I usually want to make everyone happy. Sounds like you're in a lose-lose situation. It seems like a difficult decision. Although I agree that no matter which one you choose, there will be drama. maybe going with neither of them would be simplest. Best of luck!
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  #12  
Old 10-16-2010, 01:28 PM
BetweenTwoLives BetweenTwoLives is offline
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Thank you all for your insight with this. It's a tough situation for me, I'm always trying to find the win-win(-win) and there seems to be none here.

You're right though, it's a fishy because there's info missing--there are lots of details I left out that make things make more sense, but I've spared you the novel, I think it's probably better that way.

Anyway, thanks again, I'll keep mulling!
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  #13  
Old 10-19-2010, 02:36 AM
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Honestheart Honestheart is offline
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BetweenTwoLives,
2 words...
package deal.
i'm a firm believer in when it comes to poly...there is no you without u two (or more ;-)... its all a package deal...
and i appreciate the lack of a novel but by same token...kinda leave me wondering whats what....
what do u mean they made you choose? did each say "i want you all to myself" or did one say "i'm sorry i can only handle you and one other partner" or what?
sorry....
but above all , really truly...
i wish you lots and lots and lots of support.... (((hugs)) you'll get thru this. its looking grim right now, but there is light...
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"...Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident." ~St Augustine
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  #14  
Old 10-19-2010, 03:29 PM
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this sounds like they are each asking you to choose them over you. sadly that will never work out. I have been in the situation where my partners basically asked me to choose them and their lifestyle over me and mine. I was asked to further contribute to their life but was not allowed the respect for my own thoughts, feelings and desires. I was told that i was causing problems if i didn't conform to their wants. Eventually, I chose me over us. my heart was broken but now I'm in a much better place than I ever was with them.

You need to do what is right for you, you can't worry about how they feel about it. That may mean that you have to give up both of them.
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