Hi :)

[Karelia]

Hi! I'm Karelia (Kari for short). I have been married for five and a half years and with my husband over 10. We never in a million years would've considered ourselves poly.

Then in February, we met someone online and it wasn't planned... nor was it ever intended to be more than a fun online thing. But suddenly, we both developed strong feelings for her. I have been bi for as long as I've been able to remember (and long before I understood what it meant).

So, it became a more serious online thing... and in late May, she moved in with us.

I love her like crazy... but it's been a bit of a roller coaster because it unexpectedly brought up a bunch of insecurities for me. She's pretty much the only poly person I know, and I can't talk to her about a lot of it because it causes issues when I do (long story, but it makes HER insecure). I can't talk to him about certain issues (particularly sex) because he feels terribly guilty, like he's hurting me.

I always expected a little hurt... like breaking in new shoes. But I need a way to sort through it, and so I searched and here I am.

I look forward to making new friends...

Hugs,
Kari

PS. In case anyone is curious, we're a closed triad...

[cosmicfreedom7]

Welcome! Congratulations on being open enough to embrace all the new feelings and step into the unknown as you did. Defintely not an easy road to travel but OH so worth it.

I'm relatively new but I've seen some wonderful wise advice given here as well as support and understanding. You've come to the right place. Good luck with everything!

[NeonKaos]

You're going to be told by the folks here that in order for this to work, all three of you need to start communicating better whether everyone likes it or not.

[Rarechild]

This is a good place. Hope you like to read alot. I've noticed people on here tend to warmly and enthusiastically embrace newcomers.

[Quath]

I am happy you found someone. I hope you can get the communication going for all three of you. It is worth it in the long run.

[Sunshinegrl]

Welcome!! Great to meet you. I look forward to getting to Know you better!

Originally Posted by YGirl

You're going to be told by the folks here that in order for this to work, all three of you need to start communicating better whether everyone likes it or not.

Ygirl has it right.. Communication..No mater how hard it is..that the most Important thing. Have a Pow wow, be honest and Open. Nothing can change if you dont.

[XYZ123]

Welcome and congratulations on finding something so naturally. And, yes, communication.

[foxflame88]

Congratulations on finding this new person... and i agree with others... COMMUNICATION is KEY. Even the hard topics should be adressed. Good luck.

[River]

Welcome aboard, Kari!

Communication, communication, communicatin....

But let's face it, we're not all quite sure how to discuss certain matters with our partners. Nor are we all particularly skilled in communicating about difficult matters. Oftentimes, we've never even seen others effectively communicate well about their needs, feelings, challenges, desires, fears....

Because communication requires knowledge and skill and self-awareness..., I've started this topic:

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...=communication

The topic has not been well used, thus far. Hopefully we can put it to better use. I bet you could get some suggestions and ideas about communication there.

[ImaginaryIllusion]

Wow...this is like the 2nd story I've read involving a unicorn trophy in almost as many days....they're going to destroy the mythos!!!

On a serious note, I won't belabour the communication point....everyone's got it covered. Just don't be afraid of a little tears and heartache during a ...discussion...it makes the make-up sex that much more fun... I hope that holds true for hot-makeup-threesome-sex.

Cheers.