Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
  #1  
Old 10-13-2010, 03:40 PM
jcatx jcatx is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 6
Default Depressed--this is long

Ok, I had posted on here before and things have been....going...I am the one who wants to open things up and my husband seemed fine at first with me having a girlfriend, and I also disclosed that I had a crush on his friend.. but right now I am completely smitten by this male friend of his. He has been on and off about us talking online and over the phone--he lives several hours away--Just that crazy feeling you get with someone at first. Though some could call it being 'in love' I know I do not love him as I do my husband since he has seen me through thick and thin over the last 3 years and he sees all my flaws..I suppose I have been talking to this man since August and I am really excited to go on a date with him and I desire intimacy with him...I am totally honest about stuff with my husband but it seems the more I talk about it the more he panics..I have tried to be more giving with him sexually, attention wise, etc.--though I feel our sex life has always been good..He just can't seem to understand that I need more than him in my life in this way. And I know he has tried..Meanwhile I can understand how he feels the way he does but I just wonder if I can be what he wants me to be? Also at the same time when we talk about it I feel so guilty and bad about myself. He is an amazing husband and I am so lucky to have him and I'm just being greedy maybe, and am I being selfish? All this stuff runs thru my head..I am trying to figure out where all of this will lead. we have a two year old together and no I would never leave even if I were unhappy unless the environment were harming our child..I am studying Buddhism and consider myself as such..basically I feel that it is wrong to get what I want ever at his expense. And so if the light bulb never turns on in his head I am afraid that ultimately we will simply exist together and I feel that a part of me will die and how can our relationship grow if I feel he can't understand or accept me as I am?
Reply With Quote
 

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:15 PM.