Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 10-12-2010, 03:27 PM
nightwalker nightwalker is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18
Default Ethicate when going out with my partner and her new boyfriend

I feel totally confused about how to behave when out with my primary partner and her new boyfriend. She is head over heels for him at the moment so should I let them hold hands and sit together on trains buses etc. Feels strange as I am so used to holding hands and sitting with her, etc.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 10-12-2010, 03:58 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,868
Default

why can't you both do it...???

One thing I have learned and sometimes forget in poly is to try not to overthink every move. Its tortuous for one thing and secondly ... well its really just torture. There is a flow to relationships, try and work within that flow and hopefully everyone gets the time they need. If you don't get the time you want, then verbalize it. Its pretty much all you can do

You might want to do some reading on NRE as well. Lots of great posts about it. There are a lot of rose coloured glasses being passed around at the early stages of a relationship. As long as you know of the potential problems then you can nip them in the bud
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10-12-2010, 04:20 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Right here. Right now.
Posts: 649
Default

I second what Ari said. Good call, Ari.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 10-18-2010, 04:21 PM
nightwalker nightwalker is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18
Default ackward

He dosen't get close to my partner when I am aound and pretends I am invisable when I am there. Maybe time is needed for us all to get more comfortable.f
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 10-18-2010, 07:45 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,633
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nightwalker View Post
I feel totally confused about how to behave when out with my primary partner and her new boyfriend. She is head over heels for him at the moment so should I let them hold hands and sit together on trains buses etc. Feels strange as I am so used to holding hands and sitting with her, etc.
I think the ball should be in your court on this one... I think you can set the boundary as to what would be more comfortable. I don't hang over Mono when we are out or PN or Derby for that matter... out of respect for them all... you can ask for what you want and start negotiating what fits for all of you.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:57 AM.