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Old 08-12-2009, 10:46 PM
phoenix522 phoenix522 is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1
Default Greetings!

Hello one and all,
I'm not real sure today if a poly lifestyle is what is going to work for me or not. Of course, feedback is always welcome but I have some issues to work out in my own mind.

Here's the deal, wife found a boyfriend last November. He dumped her in January and she came clean to me about it. (She had no idea I knew about the affair)

Now here we are in August with an understanding that we are free to do as we want. I have a wonderful new girlfriend and wife is back with the guy she originally cheated on me with. It gets better!

Her boyfriend is married and cheating on his wife with my wife! She cannot see him more than two nights a week and they don't get to do anything together like dinner or dancing. She has openly admitted to me that she is very jealous of my relationship with my girlfriend because she's single and has her own place. We go do things together both sexually and non-sexually so wife isn't happy because she can't do those same things with boyfriend.

Now here is the delima I am facing. I promised she could live here until she is out of school and has a job. Two years minimum. I made this promise before I had girlfriend, I had feelings of worthlessness and figured I'd die a lonely old man so what the heck? I was also holding on to the last threads of a failed marriage.

Wife said last time we talked that she wanted five or six years because, "I really like the house". This is no reason to stay married in my mind. We do things together but we are more friends who share a bed more than anything else.

When I tried to gauge our relationship, I mentioned sex and she said that her body was no longer mine to play with and I could not touch.

I know sex doesn't make a relationship but dammit it does help to show that we do love one another and it is affection and more. I get all the sex I want from girlfriend but when I'm paying the bills, mortgage, tuition, etc. while wife goes to school, I just want to chuck her out on her @$$.

Now I'm wondering, if she and I can work out an understanding on the issue of sex, if maybe a poly lifestyle might suite us better. She's been cheating on me off and on since we were first married. It has, however, been with guys that she has known for a long time, old boyfriends, etc. so I know it isn't a sexual thing so much as an attempt to relive her past failed relationships.

Now that we are both dating, our marriage is actually improving. She treats me better than ever before but again, the whole sex thing needs to be worked out. (or, am I way out in left field?)

Thanks for taking the time to listen and again, I can't stop you from voicing your opinions! (nor would I want to)
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