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  #11  
Old 10-07-2010, 01:46 AM
jlpanian jlpanian is offline
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RP!

I was looking into OPP, as you suggested. Found this blog bashing the idea as sexist, and everything wrong with poly. .

In the comments they linked to this hilarious YouTube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_l_7TWf_oo

Its basically my dream in a comedy skit about OPP! With the exception that I want a Vee and not a Triad as implied in the skit.

I thought you would enjoy it.
JP
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  #12  
Old 10-07-2010, 06:29 AM
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Ha! awesome. I wish it were that simple. I can't imagine my men cooing over me that way. Usually I don't get a word in edge wise when we are all together or when they know I'm upset I get stared down in silence. heh

I don't have a one vagina policy, but it seems to of come down to that at the moment. I don't find it very respectful to request that. After all I have more than one love, why should the option of them having more than one not be an option. It only seems fair to me.

Mono enjoys just me but PN would find another if he could. A few chances at love, but no success. Mono likes what he has, but PN misses out on lovin'. He needs more time from me, more intimacy, more touch, more talk, more connection... I can't give him that because I have Mono and Derby in my life (etc). I have some guilt over that, but have to trust that he is okay and the work we do to stay connected is paying off.

I struggle to be okay with the amount of time and energy I have for him... I would be really surprised if you found TWO women that would be satisfied with the everyday, day to day life that it comes down to in a poly dynamic without one or both of them eventually needing more than you have time for... I would be surprised if they would be okay with your boundary of them having no other lovers until the end of time.

still, it may be possible and I wish you luck.
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  #13  
Old 10-07-2010, 07:18 AM
jlpanian jlpanian is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Ha! awesome. I wish it were that simple. I can't imagine my men cooing over me that way. Usually I don't get a word in edge wise when we are all together or when they know I'm upset I get stared down in silence. heh

I don't have a one vagina policy, but it seems to of come down to that at the moment. I don't find it very respectful to request that. After all I have more than one love, why should the option of them having more than one not be an option. It only seems fair to me.

Mono enjoys just me but PN would find another if he could. A few chances at love, but no success. Mono likes what he has, but PN misses out on lovin'. He needs more time from me, more intimacy, more touch, more talk, more connection... I can't give him that because I have Mono and Derby in my life (etc). I have some guilt over that, but have to trust that he is okay and the work we do to stay connected is paying off.

I struggle to be okay with the amount of time and energy I have for him... I would be really surprised if you found TWO women that would be satisfied with the everyday, day to day life that it comes down to in a poly dynamic without one or both of them eventually needing more than you have time for... I would be surprised if they would be okay with your boundary of them having no other lovers until the end of time.

still, it may be possible and I wish you luck.
RP - !

Wow - I struggle with the EXACT thing you posted in the end. If I open Pandora's Polyamory box, knowing my honest expectation that I couldn't (while being truthful to myself) be okay with them seeing anyone else, still want to open it. Its a huge risk - even if my wife is completely content, will this new woman be? Thats a tough sell, because although I come across as a OPP kind of guy, I also respect women, and wouldn't want to oppress someone else to fit into "my" mold.

The problem, as you have identified, is that one big "IF". I cannot say if/when the time comes to take action, I would even choose to do so. Let alone the fact that I could jeopardize my great relationship with my wife, but also the unknown feelings and relationship with a new woman.

If you have the answer, please share! I am all ears.
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  #14  
Old 10-07-2010, 07:21 AM
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no answers other than to go out and try it you seem to be ready to go... brace yourself and wear your seat belt.
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  #15  
Old 10-07-2010, 07:27 AM
jlpanian jlpanian is offline
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haha! I can only wish it was as simple as strapping on the seatbelt and letting the woman come! no pun intended.

The next hurdle is lets say were ready, we still need to find the right woman. And thats like finding the ark of the covenant! It probably doesn't exist. I knew my wife was one of a kind, and its probably quite literally one of a kind in regards to her outlook on this!

I appreciate your luck, and I accept it and put it in my pocket (next to my four leaf clover, rabbits foot, horseshoe, and the piece of wood I knock on!).
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  #16  
Old 10-07-2010, 07:36 AM
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your wife is indeed a remarkable woman.
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  #17  
Old 10-07-2010, 08:20 AM
jlpanian jlpanian is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
your wife is indeed a remarkable woman.
I know, which actually makes me want to lock up the poly pandora box and throw away the key. Because as you know, i'm very closed in my view on my wife with others, I'm not sure I even want to open it all up.

I don't want to share her!
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