You're right, I need to look at the positives. Of course I'm incredibly lucky and shouldn't feel guilty... But it's human I think. I imagine two best friends who do everything together, and one of them meets someone and the other doesn't, suddenly it isn't "balanced" or "symmetrical" anymore, you know what I mean?
I also feel I'm hoarding all the luck
You're right that it's good J was honest about where she stands. It's better than having to deal with a messy situation later, and of course having a friend is a good thing, and she's a very nice person, so I should focus on that.
Thank you for giving me a different perspective