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  #11  
Old 09-24-2010, 04:13 AM
Calisolara Calisolara is offline
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Well when I asked him what was going on during a webcam chat a week ago he said he has just been really busy, he can't wait to see me when I get in, and can't I just hold on until I see him before being upset about how different things have been. He said he would show me his feelings haven't changed, just maintaining the level of communication we have had is too hard with me being so far. I also don't expect him to be monogamous, just keep me informed of new relationships. I want to take his word and believe what he says, it's hard for me to do so. I don't want to be strung along. :-(
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  #12  
Old 09-24-2010, 04:26 AM
Calisolara Calisolara is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Wow thats some pressure. Can't you meet before the family thing. Have him flyu in a day early and do dinner .

We are actually driving down the day before the party. My sister who I am not open with and introduced us invited him. I don't know what is more comfortable... being surrounded by people you know or one on one with me? I have never done this before.
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  #13  
Old 10-06-2010, 08:56 AM
Calisolara Calisolara is offline
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*update*.
So the meeting didn't go as planned. My hubby spent most of the party with his family and not trying to interact with him. He had to leave to a friends engagement party and was supposed to come back but that didn't work out.

Things felt really different the two times I saw him before my husband finally met him a week after the party. We spent a few days in a row hanging out together before we finally had a few beers and actually talked about everyones feelings. My guy was pulling away because my husband was not acting normal when deployment ended and felt he was interfering with my primary relationship. My husband apparently had been being overly insecure because he had never met my guy and it was causing jealously. Then the fact that he could tell I was upset about my guy pulling away made him more hurt. After we all talked openly and my guy asked tons of questions and explained the things he was jealous of he became himself again. His body language and affections were entirely the guy I met and liked immediately. He was scared of my husband and my husband scared if him. We have a rule now... Must meet potential relationship partners first before anything happens.


I love that my guy is being himself again and seems pretty comfortable. My only thing is he turns his head or closes his eyes anytime my husband is affectionate or gropes me. Is there anything I can do to help him? This is his first situation having to share, so I understand but it worries me.
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  #14  
Old 10-06-2010, 02:07 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calisolara View Post
My only thing is he turns his head or closes his eyes anytime my husband is affectionate or gropes me. Is there anything I can do to help him? This is his first situation having to share, so I understand but it worries me.
It just takes time. and patience. It might help to ask him what he is comfortable with right now and then respect what he asks of you until he can tell you he feels more comfortable.
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