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  #21  
Old 10-05-2010, 10:04 PM
Livingmybestlife Livingmybestlife is offline
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I have no clue why my Gay friends find it offensive. Honestly, I feel it is out of respect for what they are comfortable with. Perhaps instead of making generalizations for my being PC with my friends I shouldn't speak for a community I am not a member of.

As for me the reason I am senstive about such things is I was just told I was a cheating slut whore,by someone who doesn't know me, but emailed me to let me know. Wanted to have a fling with me and I wasn't attracted to him or his morals He thinks me being poly, is an open invitation. When he is the one hiding his relationships from his wife. So perhaps right now I am a little senstive to labels.
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  #22  
Old 10-05-2010, 10:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Livingmybestlife View Post
I have no clue why my Gay friends find it offensive. Honestly, I feel it is out of respect for what they are comfortable with. Perhaps instead of making generalizations for my being PC with my friends I shouldn't speak for a community I am not a member of.

As for me the reason I am sensitive about such things is I was just told I was a cheating slut whore,by someone who doesn't know me, but emailed me to let me know. Wanted to have a fling with me and I wasn't attracted to him or his morals He thinks me being poly, is an open invitation. When he is the one hiding his relationships from his wife. So perhaps right now I am a little sensitive to labels.
Ah, that sucks! I would just love to write these people back sometimes. Grrr! What did you say back?

As for the friends? I guess you are in an interesting position to find out! I'd love to know why!
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Last edited by redpepper; 10-06-2010 at 12:35 AM.
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  #23  
Old 10-05-2010, 10:47 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by Livingmybestlife View Post
I have no clue why my Gay friends find it offensive. Honestly, I feel it is out of respect for what they are comfortable with. Perhaps instead of making generalizations for my being PC with my friends I shouldn't speak for a community I am not a member of.
Or - here's a radical thought - you could ASK THEM why they find the q-word offensive. For all the "communication" skill that's supposed to be required of functional polyamorous people, it should be a walk in the park to ask your friend(s) a question like this.
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  #24  
Old 10-05-2010, 11:42 PM
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openmarriagelove openmarriagelove is offline
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I sent you an email. I don't mind answering some questions. Cause of the nature of my business my emails tend to go to spam so I wanted to be sure to let you know to check there! Good luck with your thesis. (I didn't read to the end to see if you found enough so this may be fruitless
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  #25  
Old 10-05-2010, 11:50 PM
Livingmybestlife Livingmybestlife is offline
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I have no problems asking my dearest friend and extended friends why they feel this way. My best friend, was was his partner is the person who let me know this wasn't acceptable. He actually died of Aids years ago. I do know that he was taunted in small southern town by the word queer, more then fag or anything else. So that was his reason. We traveled extensively for business often staying as long as 3 months or more so we were very close. As for my dearest friend, I will ask him. When I go home (hometown home I will ask him and extended friends) they have a huge party christmas night and I am often with my husband the only straight people there. So I can ask then as well.

As for this ass who called me these names, he thinks polyamory means multiple relationships without feelings. He is a Dom, who previously told me he was into public humilation or private humilation. So I chose to ignore him instead of playing his game. Actually I was offended, however I also know it is his issue and not mine.
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  #26  
Old 10-06-2010, 12:36 AM
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however I also know it is his issue and not mine.
good for you! It totally is. That is no way to dom... you are not his sub, therefore not in his realm to control.
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  #27  
Old 10-06-2010, 01:24 AM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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Hey guys, may I respectfully request an end to the hijack?

Swheeler, I would be very interested in your research. I am not a candidate to participate, but would nevertheless be very interested in learning more about it, as well as the other studies done on other subsets of the community. Where can we find this research?
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  #28  
Old 10-06-2010, 02:36 PM
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Hey guys, may I respectfully request an end to the hijack?
good point Fidelia... I'm done.
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  #29  
Old 10-06-2010, 06:28 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I live in Canada, but my boyfriend is American (actually from California, too!) and I'm in the correct age range. I guess I don't fit the criteria? That's too bad, as I'd love to take part in a study...
This being said, I have social phobias so phone and in person would both be a problem, I'm more of a forum/email/IM person.
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  #30  
Old 10-06-2010, 07:01 PM
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Why do I find the word queer offensive. I know it is because my gay friends find it offensive. I have no clue why. They do, and since that is their culture I respect what they say.
As a queer man (and a bisexual man--or, better, biamorous man) I'm slightly (though lovingly) annoyed by those flaming faggots (i.e., 'gays') who haven't got the balls to embrace the very pragmatic term: queer. I have adopted the term "queer" in large part because I'm not -- strictly speaking -- "gay" [only attracted to same sex people] (even though I've been more-or-less married to two men, the first for 6 and the second for 14 years). And I don't fit much in mainstream or mainline (or even steriotypical "gay culture". And there are other reasons, too.

Gay is a rather exclusive term while queer is much more inclusive.
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