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  #21  
Old 08-12-2009, 12:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vampiresscammy View Post

nor would it feel good to be the only ones standing up in a room full of thousands of people whom are all sitting down.
I am responding to this thread as an appendix to the current activism thread.

Vampire makes a good point- many will feel this way, but I for one think that being the only one standing up in a room full of thousands is an exhilerating, brave, and meaningful thing to do- because lots of those sitting don't know how to stand up or won't out of fear of being ostracized.

I am this kind of person. I enjoy being a champion for what I believe. I may not represent all, but I make an effort, and it takes all kinds of people to make a world- not just a group that are a community because of their identification with poly and the value system thereof- but a world bent on peace, tolerance and education rather than war, hatred and ignorance.


I hadn't read this thread before- lots of good points and discussion on all aspects of the issue at hand.

Much respect and appreciation to all those presenting their viewpoints as individuals-that's what it's all about IMO.
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  #22  
Old 08-12-2009, 07:33 PM
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I'm really torn on this one. I can see the education benefits of a coming out day. So many can be reached who didn't realize this option was open to them, and so many can finally get a sense of "the way I feel isn't wrong".

It would really depend on how it's orchestrated though. As was mentioned before, a spectacle atmosphere wouldn't serve to promote education and acceptance so much as a "let's look at the freaks" attitude. I live in NYC where they host the gay pride parade each year and where so many people go to "look at the freaks". It sometimes upsets me as a bisexual that people are running around almost naked, making out all over eachother, dressed in ridiculous costumes, and more are not walking down the block with their partner dressed as every day people holding the hands of their children. Yes, people should all be accepted for who and how they love. But what tolerance are you promoting by making yourself a "freak" in the eyes of the "normals"?

For myself, I also worry about the lack of a clear concrete and universally accepted definition of polyamory. I don't want to be in more than a triad nor could I emotionally handle more than a quad. But there are people out there, even on this forum, involved with three or four or more other loves, ranging from deep emotional commitment to the swingers who call themselves polyamorists and everything in between. While I don't object to their life choices, do I want them standing up and representing me? Maybe not. I think that would actually make it harder for me to come out to more people, if the public view based on this coming out was so different than my own personal approach.

I've come out over time to a good number of people, all on my own, and in my own time. I've gotten varied reactions and dealt with them as they came. There are people I will probably never come out to and I don't feel as if I'm living in a closet by not doing so. It's just a personal decision on my end who I'm comfortable with knowing and who I'm not. Yes, if it was more socially acceptable I might come out to more people. But how does one go about making it more acceptable but by living your life and leading by example?
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  #23  
Old 08-18-2009, 07:15 AM
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Wow. A lot of people read this thread.... maybe a coming out day is important to more than we realize?!
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  #24  
Old 08-18-2009, 01:02 PM
Mark1npt Mark1npt is offline
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I'm still torn on this issue. Like Mono, I don't think it's really anyone's business and no big deal to me, but on the other hand, I think people would probably stare less when I walk down the street with both my ladies hand in hand if they knew more about the poly movement. I guess I'm still stunned that with all the press and all the time for the public to acclimate to the gay/lesbian issue, they still haven't quite wrapped fully around it.

A friend of mine and I were talking theother day....I've always thought she was lesbian, as does anyone else who ever meets her. She may in fact be bi. She has many bi and lesbian friends. In fact I may be the only "normal" person she hangs with and I'm poly! lol......she doesn't know that yet btw.

As we were talking she seemed very uncomfortable telling me about her lesbian friends and their kids who came to visit and what other people thought or if they even recognized them as being lesbian. My take was in this day and age what does it matter? She stated it does and people do in fact still lose jobs, kids, promotions, etc because of being gay/lesbian. Jeez, I thought we were over all that by now!

If we as a society are not "over it" on the gay/lesbian issue, with all the press, legislation and activism out there (which btw will dwarf poly activism by light years' worth of galaxies) then what do we expect to happen when a few open marriage, free lovin' old hippies start marching? Small fish in a big pond........
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  #25  
Old 08-18-2009, 01:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark1npt View Post
If we as a society are not "over it" on the gay/lesbian issue, with all the press, legislation and activism out there (which btw will dwarf poly activism by light years' worth of galaxies) then what do we expect to happen when a few open marriage, free lovin' old hippies start marching? Small fish in a big pond........
Well, there is still a lot of racism around. However, it has been slowly dying out. One interesting poll was on the acceptance of interracial marriage. I think that hen the Supreme Court legalized it, 90% of Americans were against it. I think in the 1980's, more Americans were for it than against it. And support for it grew at about 1% a year.

So I think there are different segments of society dealing with this in different ways and we don't all reach the "finish line" at the same time.
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  #26  
Old 08-18-2009, 02:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark1npt View Post
If we as a society are not "over it" on the gay/lesbian issue, with all the press, legislation and activism out there (which btw will dwarf poly activism by light years' worth of galaxies) then what do we expect to happen when a few open marriage, free lovin' old hippies start marching? Small fish in a big pond........
Who said anything about marching? Coordinated, deliberate visibility needn't manifest as marching. Activism can take on many, many forms. I, personally, think television and radio talk shows might be a good venue for our coordinated coming out. Just a thought.

Anyway....

As a gay/bi/queer (whatever!) guy, I can say that things are much, much better for gay people than they used to be. I'm just old enough to remember what it used to be like, which is why I know the inside of a closet so well -- from my youth and adolescence, when "normal" people were dating, etc. (At the time, I was primarily attracted to guys, and still am as a general rule with extraordinary exceptions.) It was unthinkable to "come out" (nobody around me was!) so I stayed in. End of story.

Things got better and better for gay people when gay people started coming out in droves. And they will get better for poly folk when poly folk follow suit. There will be bumps in the road. But things will get better. I promise.
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  #27  
Old 03-02-2011, 01:36 AM
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Is it yet time to revive this discussion?
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  #28  
Old 03-02-2011, 02:13 AM
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River,
I haven't read the whole thread yet,
(sorry-I've been WAY busy)

BUT-I read your first two posts and your last post too,

I think YES YES YES.
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  #29  
Old 03-02-2011, 02:27 AM
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Cool.

Here's the web address for the Polyamory Leadership Network.:

www.polyamoryleadershipnetwork.org



Also of interest:

Polyamory Media Association
www.polymediaassociation.com
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Last edited by River; 03-02-2011 at 02:37 AM.
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  #30  
Old 03-02-2011, 06:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by River View Post
Cool.

Here's the web address for the Polyamory Leadership Network.:

www.polyamoryleadershipnetwork.org



Also of interest:

Polyamory Media Association
www.polymediaassociation.com
you know. I filled out an application to join the leadership network and nothing happened.... (they said I was in though,,,, I think ?)
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