My name is Greg. I’m 26 – have two kids and have been in an open relationship for the best part of the last 10 years…
So how do I begin… I want to condense this, because I am at work and I am not a big fan of typing anyways..
So let me break it down for you…
(sexually) open relationship for 10 years, all that stuff…
We use to do things sexually (3somes and stuff) with this guy who has been a friend of ours for as long as we have known each other… (10 years)
Well as time goes by – The friend and my partner develop feelings… as you do when you have known someone for 10 years… you start to love them..
So about a year ago – she discovered polyamory. This was a hug relief to her, as she realised that its completely normal to be able to love more than one person…. I always knew she was close to Ben, I knew Ben loved her… but about a year ago they decided that they would label their “deep friendship” a relationship… I was like – “well I am not one for labelling things and I don’t care for external opinions” so I let them go…
Polyamory here we come – woo…
Yeah – I didn’t mind Ben and Nanda being in love… as they always did love each other anyway– the only difference that now it was “official” – cool didn’t really bother me..
But as that relationship has continued to develop over the past year… I have been steadily been feeling feelings of regret, entrapment and insecurities…
It has come to a point now, where I am not unhappy – I live a comfortable life, I have everything I need… I am just dissatisfied with her not being completely mine… is this my ego? I don’t tell my friends and people in my circle about the relationship between them. I don’t, because I am embarrassed and ashamed about it… its kind of like a dirty secret – that I keep out of the public eye… I view myself as weak for letting it start in the first place…
Anyway – this is already getting to long… point is – I am now dissatisfied with them being in a relationship… and I don’t know if I want to be part of this “3 way relationship” or not… I am feeling lost…. Will I be ok – if I live this lifestyle??
I don’t like sharing my time with my girl?
I don’t like when they fight?
I don’t know exactly what it is that makes me so – god-dam unhappy about them being in a relationship.
I don’t want Ben to get Hurt.
I don’t want Nanda to get hurt.
I don’t want to be single.
But I don’t want to live my life this way…
(no offence to you guys –I know polyamory can be a wonderful thing)
I wish Ben wasn’t there – even though, he is great with the kids and the house work – much better than me… Does that make me selfish…
Should I place my own need for satisfaction, above the fact that Ben is a wonderful helpful person?
I don’t want to leave.
I don’t want to stay.
I don’t feel I can live this way forever.
Latley - I have been feeling sad and lost...
Please help me.
Love – Greg
Last edited by Prophesy; 10-05-2010 at 05:57 AM.
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