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Old 10-02-2010, 02:42 PM
freeantigone freeantigone is offline
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Kent, UK
Posts: 46
Default Always learning...freeantigone's blog

After choosing to actively pursue the poly lifestyle in July 2010, all sorts of things have happened already and we haven't even started being physical with people yet! (Warning, this could be a long one!)

We've been through a lot as a couple in the last 8 years: debt, illness, stress, pain...and come through it stronger than ever. We're hugely proud of the commitment we have and don't believe that seeing other people makes any difference to how important that commitment is to us.

At the moment the biggest snag we have is finding S (my male partner) a playmate. As I've mentioned elsewhere we don't want to be physical with other people until both of us have someone to be physical with. Thus far it's been pretty fruitless, however we recently met a lady who is not only vegan (like us) but poly too! S messaged her on OKC and she seemed very keen to say hello. We should be seeing her at a mutual friend's birthday drinks tomorrow

I have 2 possible playmates lined up. One of which, A, a friend of ours for some years, has always been very flirtatious with me and is very keen to be a FWB, even if he comes across as quite standoffish. I think he'll open up a little once we are being physical (we've had one brief encounter already, which doesn't seem to have put him off ) but even if he remains a bit distant, I can deal with that.

S is a little threatened by A as he feels the overt flirting over the years was a little cheeky (neither we nor A knew we were poly at the time), and added to this is that A isn't hugely sociable. I'm leaving the situation for now but I plan to explain the situation to A once we are seeing each other and try to iron out those issues.

I recently met someone online, E, who is poly but not vegan. He is vegan friendly though and while I'd like to have all-vegan lovers the pool of people who are vegan & poly is pretty small, so I'm willing to see how it goes with him. We play online pretty regularly which is fun. I'm meeting him on Tuesday at a Poly meetup which I'm pretty nervous about :blush:

The online play with E has brought some of my past issues to the surface. I have previously had txt/online play with men and been accused of being a tease because I was wary of or didn't want to meet IRL. As far as I was concerned it was just play, but being accused of that and seeing people turn nasty has burned my fingers somewhat.

After a pretty hot online play session today I started to get worried about E's expectations, and the feelings from my past play session came to the surface. After worrying for a bit, managing to convince myself he was either going to jump me when he first saw me or get angry with me, I explained why I felt stressed. E explained that he had no expectations. He'd obviously like to play IRL with me but if we were friends who played online that'd be fine too. I feel much better now
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