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  #61  
Old 08-09-2009, 08:55 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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So tonight Redpepper had her entire immediate family over for supper and invited me to join them. This gave me a good opportunity to get to know her brother better as we chatted and hung hand made pasta together LOL! (first for everything)

The entire night felt very comfortable and I could sense that I am becoming comfortably present in their lives. Tonight was without a lot of the "encroaching" feeling I have had in the past. I am simply becoming comfortable with all of them. I am sure this will give me confidence when in the future they know of my involvement in Redpepper's life.

Redpepper, her husband and me really do work well together in this type of setting. I'm sure it is a little odd for her parents and brother to see me as a guest who just happens to do dishes and knows where everything goes in her kitchen!!

I am giving everything I have to my love for Redpepper and trying to make sure her family is thriving with me in it.

The future looks amazing
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  #62  
Old 08-09-2009, 04:51 PM
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Earlier in the day my family went to celebrate my mum's birthday at a restaurant. My husband and I talk about Mono a lot and my Dad finally asked why he is around so much. My husband took the reigns on that one as I knew it would sound better coming from him. He talked about how Mono is a good fit to our family and how we all seem to get along well. When my Dad asked why we never talk about other friends the same way, he said that we have lots of other friends he knows nothing about, but we chose to spend our time mostly with Mono. He told him that Mono comes to our house when we are not there and helps us out sometimes by mowing the lawn and doing our dishes. That he uses our massage bed on his lunch hour as he works just down the street and that him and I go for walks after work and have coffee as our work days end at the same time. Because this all came from my husband and was obviously okay with him, my Dad didn't flinch. Everyone was listening in and it became normalized quickly.

At our supper time production Mono fit in like he has always been there. Everyone thinks he is great and no one acted as if he didn't belong...

One more step closer to a successful transition into the truth.

Next week we are all going camping again. We have done this before all together, but the more we all spend time together, the better off we are in telling them all.

It all feels so right and so comfortable... I am so happy with it all!
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  #63  
Old 08-09-2009, 05:37 PM
XYZ123 XYZ123 is offline
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I'm sure it is a little odd for her parents and brother to see me as a guest who just happens to do dishes and knows where everything goes in her kitchen!!
I find this funny because most of my good friends walk around the apartment as if they own it and I could care less. I've come home to friends sitting on my couch watching TV with a drink in their hand and my reaction is "What's on?"

Redpepper- Love that the transition to the truth as you call it is going over so well. Congratulations. I hope the final step can be made soon and go over just as smoothly.
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  #64  
Old 08-09-2009, 06:14 PM
Mark1npt Mark1npt is offline
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This sounds so good you three.....Redpepper your husband did a damn fine job with putting that info out there for everyone. He must be a helluva guy. Isn't it a wonderful feeling to get closer to your truth? Isn't it wonderful to be so familiar, so in tune with your "family" that you don't feel like you're ever encroaching? That level of comfort in your home life is invaluable. My continued good wishes for you all.
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  #65  
Old 08-10-2009, 02:54 PM
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Yesterday we went to a social gathering primarily consisting of the people we also see at monthly poly meetings. It was nice to get to know people without the weight of polyamory hanging over my head. What I mean by this is that it was about just building friendships without a topic agenda which was nice. Redpepper, her husband and son and I were there and it felt very natural to present ourselves as chosen family, we get along so well.

We all had a little fun at my expense when "The Ethical Slut" book came up in the conversation. (Or Satan's Bible as I refer to it...I hate that book ) I am getting used to being the only mono person in our group and learning to have fun with it. This is a big step forward in integrating comfortably into what has been a very threatening environment for me.

Little steps on a long path with my incredible Lilo and the vision we all have for the future.
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  #66  
Old 08-10-2009, 05:32 PM
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Thanks for all the good wishes folks I am so glad we can share our story. It feels great to be able to be a bit of hope for those seeking a similar life. I really hope that hope is what we bring and not jealousy and resentment. Some times I wonder if it wouldn't be better to be more hush hush. I am sure you all realize that in sharing we build on love, community, respect for differences and on hope for the future. That is what it is all about for me.
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Last edited by redpepper; 08-10-2009 at 05:36 PM.
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  #67  
Old 08-10-2009, 05:40 PM
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If anyone is jealous and resentful they need to wok on their compersion skills.
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  #68  
Old 08-10-2009, 08:33 PM
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Originally Posted by XYZ123 View Post
If anyone is jealous and resentful they need to work on their compersion skills.
They also need to work on their "get off their asses and do something about it" skills. If anyone wants what Redpepper and Mono (and family of course) share then they better be ready to go get it and work for it.

I admit, I envy you guys, but I'm not jealous and definitely not resentful. I love hearing these updates, it's like reading a serial story. Maybe you guys should write all this stuff down and co-author a book.
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  #69  
Old 08-10-2009, 09:26 PM
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Maybe you guys should write all this stuff down and co-author a book.
A book with two or three authors? That's not very mono
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  #70  
Old 08-17-2009, 06:11 AM
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Ummm..what to say other than this is so incredibly normal to me and we are all bonding like crazy

Redpepper, her husband, son, brother, parents and myself went camping this weekend. It was a great time for me to bond with her brother and spend some time with her husband as well.

Her husband and me are a very good team in getting projects done and we are growing increasingly close. Her brother and I get along very well and he knows something is going on. Redpepper is having a hard time not telling him but the time is not right for all of us so we will continue to wait for a better and more appropriate time.

I feel very comfortable with all of them. Things are very good with our core family and my relationship with Redpepper has become something beyond intimate love. I love her for her humanity, just knowing she is happy. This is amazing and fulfilling.

During our trip to the camping sight we stopped for coffee. As we ordered Redpepper stood between both her husband and me and was obviously affectionate with both of us. Not outwardly intimate but enough for me to notice the looks of some other customers. I felt quite ok and enjoyed the curiosity they displayed. I really don't care how people see us because I know how much love we all have.

Her son is very intuitive and is asking for more "date" times with me LOL! He is jealous of Redpepper's time with me and I told him I need to have more date times with him and with his dad as well. I think he is quite happy with me in their life and that is a huge positive for me.

All in all, I am one very happy secondary/primary/life love or whatever you want to call me. This is simply natural and possible for anyone prepared and in love enough to work for it.

Take care

Mono
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