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  #11  
Old 08-07-2009, 05:52 AM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
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Well, when I mean "poly happiness" I suppose it's just referring to having that kind of love in my life. It remains elusive at the moment.
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  #12  
Old 08-08-2009, 05:06 AM
Mark1npt Mark1npt is offline
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I too, was raised by a great catholic mother with the mother of all martyr complexes....if I only had a nickel for every item she's offered up for the Lord.......I simply refuse to feel guilty, about anything. I see only pain, sufferring and hurtful emotions arising from it. Sorry, life's too short. Man's continuing affliction for imparting guilt on fellow man (and women) is way too traumatic for my life anymore......
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  #13  
Old 08-08-2009, 05:50 AM
Nyx Nyx is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post

I grew up in a family with a mother that martyred herself. She felt a lot of guilt and has nicely passed it on to me... thanks Mom!
Hey, man - don't be a slave to your upbringing! Although I can't talk because I have allowed the way my mom 'was' to dictate the way I 'am' - but I strive to acknowledge those things every day, every time I do them and slowly change them.

As far as I can tell, you have nothing to feel guilty about. But if you feel strongly that you should feel guilt then perhaps some deep thought (or meditation if you are into that sort of thing) will bring to light what the REAL issue is.

What is guilt, anyway? The feeling that we have done something wrong. Have you done anything Wrong? And what, specifically? Did it affect anyone or do you just Think it did/might?

About feeling guilty for being happy - that is SILLY!! Stop it!! You have every right to be happy doing whatever you are doing. If someone else has a problem with it (YES even a loved one) and wishes you to change, then THEY should feel guilty for expecting you to become UNhappy for them.
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  #14  
Old 08-08-2009, 03:02 PM
Mark1npt Mark1npt is offline
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The perfect reply, Nyx.
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  #15  
Old 08-09-2009, 08:31 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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yes thank you Nyx!

My guilt comes and goes.... I was feeling particularly guilty when I asked that...

not so much now.

I have definitely noticed it comes up more when my self esteem is low and I don't have enough energy to make everything work... usually due to lack of sleep.

I laughed at your comment about your mum offering stuff to the lord Mark! Ha Ha! You live with her too no? She would be in quite a state I would think if she knew what goes on under the very roof she lives under!
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  #16  
Old 08-09-2009, 06:18 PM
Mark1npt Mark1npt is offline
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Yes RP....Firstly, I don't think she be able to comprehend the idea in any way, then I think she'd stroke out! I can't do that to her. We'll just muddle along with her for as many years as she has left.
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  #17  
Old 08-10-2009, 01:01 PM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark1npt View Post
I simply refuse to feel guilty, about anything. I see only pain, sufferring and hurtful emotions arising from it. Sorry, life's too short. Man's continuing affliction for imparting guilt on fellow man (and women) is way too traumatic for my life anymore......
Actually, I think genuine guilt is a useful and sometimes necessary thing. If we've done something wrong or really hurt someone through our actions, guilt is what lets us know and guides us along to repairing the wrongs we've done. If somebody did major harm to me or my heart and didn't feel any guilt or remorse over it, I would seriously question their character. However, I don't think it's anything anyone should be imparting on anyone else. I'm not going to try to "guilt" anybody that hurt me. That's for them to deal with. I'll just choose to keep the company of people who are good instead.

So if I'm feeling guilty, I usually look for something in my life that needs taking care of. If I can't find anything, I know that guilt is just me flogging myself for no good reason and I can let that feeling go. But sometimes, if I look long and hard, I can find something unexpected- a loose end with somebody, a pattern of not being in right relationship with some people. That guilt's gonna stay there till I deal with the causes of it.

Guilt should only be reserved for the real things that call for it and when it does show up, I'm inclined to listen to it. But it shouldn't just sit there inside us. It should be a signal to take care of things and then let go.
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  #18  
Old 08-10-2009, 01:45 PM
Mark1npt Mark1npt is offline
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Ceoli, you quoted me out of context...if you read the rest of my post it has to do with man imparting guilt onto fellow man....not a good situation and one that I won't participate in.
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  #19  
Old 08-10-2009, 01:57 PM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
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What was the additional context that I missed? You said that you refused to feel guilty about anything, not just the guilt that's imparted on you. That doesn't mean I didn't read the rest of the post. There was nothing in your post that suggested a separation between imparted guilt and guilt that stems from one's own actions. I posted to clarify that in my view, there is indeed a difference. I quoted you because it was relative to that idea, that's all.

Either way, they were just general thoughts I have around guilt. I feel people sometimes spend too much time shielding themselves from "negative" emotions rather than looking at the lessons than can be learned from them.

Last edited by Ceoli; 08-10-2009 at 02:17 PM.
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