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Old 09-27-2010, 06:06 AM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default Not wanting to judge

It's honesty time...and some aren't going to like it but what else is the forum for if not to put things out there that are real right?

I'm not proud to say this and I don't quite know how to put this nicely but I definitely have a problem with judging certain life style choices..well one in particular. Swinging.

While I don't mind judging a specific behavior, I do mind that it makes me judge individuals without ever getting to know them.
I have some visceral reaction to the idea of swinging that I can't seem to shake. I have no first hand experience of it other than knowing a limitedly number of people who have.

Just recently I was at a social gathering with some one who used to swing. I admittedly wondered just how many men had been inside her and judged her for that. It didn't help when she mentioned how after a few drinks she was pretty surprised she still had clothes on. Most men would probably been ok with that but I found myself repelled from even letting her energy touch mine let alone seeing her even partially naked.
She seems like a nice person and yet I judged her. Not only that but I don't want to socialize with people who I know are in the swing community for the most part....and yet some of my friends are involved with it. I get along with them just fine but again I have a level of judgement in the back of my mind which doesn't make me want to be in certain environments with them in case I am triggered by what normally would be harmless banter. (I think I see people who swing as predatory, especially men. The women I see as being used and with low self respect)

The same night I actually had a pretty disturbing "nightmare" about Redpepper trying to get me to know some swingers she met during a cruise we were on.

I'm not sure what if anything needs to be done, I could simply avoid meeting new people who are knowingly active swingers, or I could just let brief encounters desensitize me to the idea and simply see them for being honest healthy people. If it was just me, I could avoid ever knowingly associating with people who participate in things that make me uncomfortable. But I am part of a community that is full of diversity in every way.

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Monogamy might just be in my genes

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Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 09-27-2010 at 06:11 AM.
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