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Old 09-26-2010, 03:03 AM
StitchwitchD StitchwitchD is offline
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 77

Is there a poly community in your area? I got comfortable with poly gradually while being around poly people and seeing how they did things, what went well, what didn't. I think most people aren't hard-wired poly or mono, that it's like the Kinsey spectrum, that some people are at both extremes and really couldn't be happy with the other thing, but there's a lot of people in the middle who can go either way under the right circumstances.

Also, I don't get this mentality of "I'm just not interested in anyone else, therefore I'm not poly." I've never had all that much interest in meeting new people to date, a hypothetical person just didn't seem all that appealing, no matter how I tried to imagine someone who'd be just perfect for me.

Then I met a cute poly guy and within an hour or so I was hoping he'd kiss me and pretty soon after that he did, and we've had an ongoing thing for more than a year now.
Still, I wasn't interested in meeting new people to date. I tried OKC, met up with people, dates went okay but no sparks, I was just going through the motions to show I was making an effort.
I did start going to church, and there was this one really cute guy there, but he had a girlfriend, and they were probably mono, and that even if he was single, he was probably boring, and no way would he be interested in me, and if he was interested, it'd probably be in a pure and wholesome monogamous way. But damn he was cute, and we ended up talking enough that it was obvious he wasn't just cute, he was interesting, so I messaged him on facebook saying I'd like to get to know him, which lead to him asking if I wanted ice cream (duh! it's ice cream!) which it turned out that he was using ice cream to lure me into his bedroom because he'd been looking at my cleavage and thinking of things he'd like to do....So, not boring. 2 months later, still not sure what's going on, but I am very interested.

My point is that an absence of interest in dating theoretical people doesn't mean anything, because at any random point in time, someone could stumble into your life and you could suddenly find yourself very interested in dating that specific person.
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mono poly, mono/poly

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