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View Poll Results: Who started it?
The male half initiated our poly relationship. 9 17.31%
The female half initiated our poly relationship. 32 61.54%
We were both poly. 5 9.62%
We're a same-sex couple. 4 7.69%
I hate polls. 2 3.85%
Voters: 52. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 09-23-2010, 05:00 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Default Who started it?

Indigo has pointed out to me that many people he's told about our poly assume that as the male half of our couple, he initiated it. This is not the case.

So, in the interest of science, who started it in your relationship, if it wasn't already in place?

ETA: I've realized I have excluded anyone who came into a tribe/established couple. Please place your vote in "We were both Poly." or of course, "I hate polls."

Advance apologies to the other poly configs I am sure I've excluded .. *facepalm*

Last edited by TruckerPete; 09-23-2010 at 05:09 PM.
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  #2  
Old 09-23-2010, 05:51 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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We are both women. We'd both been poly before we met. And so no one initiated it. I needed multiple choice!
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  #3  
Old 09-23-2010, 05:53 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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We share the pants in our relationship, but I definitely started this. (female half)
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Old 09-23-2010, 06:00 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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hmmm...thats tough, we have always been open. Thats mutual. However I was the first one to fall in love with another. But in the same breath she has always been poly capable. Very loving woman. The poly label and the idea of poly as an actual definition, I pushed for that. I am a need to know person, so I really needed to figure out what was happening to my brain.

I still say both.
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Old 09-23-2010, 06:01 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
We are both women. We'd both been poly before we met. And so no one initiated it. I needed multiple choice!
Yep. I figured I'd leave some people out inadvertantly ... Hence the "I hate polls" option.
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  #6  
Old 09-23-2010, 06:05 PM
Ragabash Ragabash is offline
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It was definitely Tonberry who started our poly relationship.
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  #7  
Old 09-23-2010, 06:30 PM
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River River is offline
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We were both poly-oriented--more or less--before we met. But we talked about it and made a conscious decision to mutually embrace a poly relationship style.

And we are a same sex couple (male). So we seem to fit at least two criteria in the voting options. Hmm.
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  #8  
Old 09-23-2010, 06:33 PM
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Indigomontoya Indigomontoya is offline
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Yeah it was TP who first said she needed poly, but then it could be said that I gave the green light.

In terms of discussion, I find that people have generally assumed I initiated the poly in a negative way. Like I am the jerk forcing my need for multiple partners on TP...like I mentioned in my blog one person actually asked "you have someone already, is that not enough?"
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Old 09-23-2010, 06:43 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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How can I answer this Let's say my overwhelming love for Redpepper dragged me into polyamory
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Old 09-23-2010, 06:52 PM
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Lemondrop Lemondrop is offline
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I need to qualify my answer as well...when we were given an opportunity, Easy said, "I will follow whatever decision you make" and wouldn't tender an opinion. So, technically, I chose to open our relationship to poly, which is a decision I take responsibility for. However, there was a looooong lead-up to it, and I will admit I felt some pressure to agree to it--whether that pressure was real or imagined, I may never know. So, technically, the female half of our marriage chose poly, but there's some possibility that secret societies conspired to create the events which caused the ultimate outcome.
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