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Old 09-23-2010, 02:41 AM
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spaghetticat spaghetticat is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 43
Default Confused Polywog

I think I posted an intro on the board in July and have been fairly absent. I have "dealt" (happily) with a LOT of changes. Somethings have been so uncomfortable I am not even sure how I dealt with them, other things just totally wonderful.
I have also taken on a lot of new things in my life including going back to school, volunteering for things, part time job etc, so as you can imagine juggling regular life with poly has/is still a bit of a struggle but (i don't remember the term)I feel like with my two loves I am very fulfilled, and they both seem to be okay with the time we can have together in between each others schedules and each others lives- we are just tweaking it.

The relationship for me was very awkward at first because my primary seems to either be mono or have no interest in being with anyone but me at this time- not really looking for a label for what that is- he has done some things that he felt would add to our relationship and his overall happiness- and I guess just all the talks and everything talking, making everyone aware, establishing boundaries that kind of thing..

Anyways here is the current situation. I am in school and have about 17 months left. My school is broken up into 3 terms so I would be finished the first term in about 5 months or so. Primary and i have wanted to have a child for a while, and actually tried for a year, but no success. I have also just found out that I won't be getting as much of my college paid for as was expected. I have the first term paid for no issues there- its just the 2nd and 3rd will cause financial hardship unless we do one particular thing which isnt something either of us want. (Sorry long background)

Well since trying and failing at getting pregnant, we are both leaning towards trying again. please don't misunderstand the above text as us not being able to afford having a child- its not that- the school is just a very expensive technical school.

I am fluid bonded with both of my partners so I realize this will affect both the sexual boundaries (as primary is the only one we are comfortable with being the father) if we continue a sexual relationship.

I am very very close to both these men and love them. We all seem to have different needs for time, love and attention that seem to work well between our schedules and I love what we have.

I realize this will change a lot (as will everything I suppose) once we do have a child. Because of the lengths of the terms, if we choose to start trying to get pregnant in the second term I may or may not complete that entire term without pregnancy (due to past fertility issues but you never know)

Anyways I am currently just talking about this with my other sweetie and of course my primary to see how this will work for us..

There is still lots of time, but I guess if anyone has any wisdom to be shared here it would be wonderful? I know we need to discuss more about what would happen, if we could continue the additional relationship after the child and how we all feel about it, and how it would affect the future possible child. There is something available for me to be able to afford school, but it ends up short changing us so we are trying to avoid it, but its not a definite no. I absolutely adore what I am studying and feel that it is what I am meant to be doing in my life.

Anyways...maybe I just needed to get this out to some unbiased people, or get some perspectives on things I hadn't thought about, but any feedback would be great. I would really appreciate it if you do provide me feedback even if its a "negative thing to say" to please be kind

Thanks!
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