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  #21  
Old 09-21-2010, 02:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
I would say both or either.

For me, if you can have sex outside the relationship, then the relationship isn't closed.
However, my problem with closed relationship is that I feel it tells me I'm not allowed to fall in love, which isn't under my control and therefore doesn't seem fair.

So I would say a relationship can be opened one way, the other, or both, but can only be considered closed if neither are allowed.
That sounds true to me. I will add that sex is the usual means of enforcement because it's a behavior that's easily identifiable, even though prohibitions on both is desired.
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  #22  
Old 09-21-2010, 02:58 AM
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Originally Posted by MindfulAgony View Post
That sounds true to me. I will add that sex is the usual means of enforcement because it's a behavior that's easily identifiable, even though prohibitions on both is desired.
Or the prohibitions "could" be on both?

My arrangement with Mono is that if there is a time that I want a boyfriend that I would have sex with then our sexual relationship woud end and my sexual relationship with him would begin. I could have other boyfriends but not sexual ones. I can have as many girlfriends as I want too and none of this needs discussing with my tribe. Although I would out of respect and curticy.
So, would this be poly fi?
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  #23  
Old 09-21-2010, 03:03 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Or the prohibitions "could" be on both?

My arrangement with Mono is that if there is a time that I want a boyfriend that I would have sex with then our sexual relationship woud end and my sexual relationship with him would begin. I could have other boyfriends but not sexual ones. I can have as many girlfriends as I want too and none of this needs discussing with my tribe. Although I would out of respect and curticy.
So, would this be poly fi?
hmmmm...no because you are still open.

My take is that poly fi is now closed. Period....with your availability to girls I suppose you could be gender specific poly fi....

that said, like all things poly, there are variations of a theme like I mentioned above.

tough call might be better to not try and carry that label. Poly fi may be best left to completely closed constellations.
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  #24  
Old 09-21-2010, 03:10 AM
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
gender specific poly fi....

Gender-fidelous

I don't see a difference between a boyfriend and friend who is a boy is so fill your boots! I have lots of girl friends and am uber mono
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  #25  
Old 09-21-2010, 03:38 AM
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Poly-fi for us (Simplified for ease of sharing):

For us poly-fi means that we agree that any new partners have to be accepted by the "whole" group of us.

Now that means several things depending on the person.

In our "quad" only 3 of us are sexually involved with one another.
SO-as a Quad the rule is that no one moves in and joins the FAMILY as a family member without the FOUR of us agreeing.

In our "V"-I am sexually involved AND fluid-bonded with Maca and GG. Therefore if ANY of the three of us is going to be sexually involved with someone else, the three of us need to be in agreement about it.

Mimi can have sex with whomever she pleases without our two cents, but if she's wanting to bring them into the household as a family member-it would need to be discussed as a quad.

The rest of us may not be sexually active with another person without the three of us discussing it and agreeing first.

ALL four of us are free to maintain any type of non-sexual, deep, meaningful (or shallow meaningless) relationships that we wish with whomever we wish
SO LONG AS THOSE PEOPLE DO NOT NEGATIVELY IMPACT THE FAMILY DYNAMIC (ie no drug addicts bring brought home to hang out, no pedofiles, etc).
We all maintain numerous relationships outside of the family dynamic that are non-sexual and have never really had a problem with that. We also have many mutual friends amongst us, in pairs, trios and the quad as a whole.
Generally speaking people whom we invite to hang out at the house are "family people" with kids of their own or who are used to being around kids a lot, becuase we have 5 kids here of our own.

Ok-feel free to knock me with questions!
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  #26  
Old 09-21-2010, 03:48 AM
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Ok-feel free to knock me with questions!
:P
Sounds clear to me...but can I still knock you? I'm kidding!
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  #27  
Old 09-21-2010, 03:53 AM
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Sounds clear to me...but can I still knock you? I'm kidding!

Wait til I tell RP!
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  #28  
Old 09-21-2010, 03:54 AM
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Maca says you gotta clear it with my Dom.
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  #29  
Old 09-21-2010, 04:03 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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So, clarifying one point: of your quad, one person isn't involved sexually with any one. Is their place purely emotional then? Or something else?
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  #30  
Old 09-21-2010, 04:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Maca says you gotta clear it with my Dom.
Tell him I'll submit the memo if I can still move after RP finishes with me...I'm still bruised form two weeks ago!
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