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  #21  
Old 09-20-2010, 04:02 PM
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MrDreadful MrDreadful is offline
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My Facebook will largely be a Poly-free zone for the forseeable future... our families are pretty conservative and while we know exactly who won't understand, working out who would is a bit more difficult... my LJ and certain trusted fora with private areas will probably be fair game though.
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  #22  
Old 09-20-2010, 08:12 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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WWWwooooooowwwwww! Ok, so today my wife came out to her mom completely. Her mom was ok with it! In fact, her mom said that she and my farther in law were in a relationship with another couple during the 70's. WHAT!!!!! Her mom noticed that L had stopped talking about S & D as much, and that she (L) sounded a little upset, and so asked her flat out if we (L and myself) had broken up with S&D. my wife said that we had, but that wasn't the reason for her being upset. She told her it was because of a new person in our lives, and myself, not exactly working out ideally. L told her mom that she (L) was seeing a guy and that he was a different race. (i.e. not white) Her mom said "Honey, I don't care if he's black, white, asian, or alien. As long as you're happy.". Wow....I never expected that! LOL So there you have it...The people who matter to us the most, are mainly ok with it....The ones who matter less to us, have issues. Interesting.
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  #23  
Old 09-20-2010, 09:13 PM
Vinccenzo Vinccenzo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
WWWwooooooowwwwww! Ok, so today my wife came out to her mom completely. Her mom was ok with it! In fact, her mom said that she and my farther in law were in a relationship with another couple during the 70's. WHAT!!!!! Her mom noticed that L had stopped talking about S & D as much, and that she (L) sounded a little upset, and so asked her flat out if we (L and myself) had broken up with S&D. my wife said that we had, but that wasn't the reason for her being upset. She told her it was because of a new person in our lives, and myself, not exactly working out ideally. L told her mom that she (L) was seeing a guy and that he was a different race. (i.e. not white) Her mom said "Honey, I don't care if he's black, white, asian, or alien. As long as you're happy.". Wow....I never expected that! LOL So there you have it...The people who matter to us the most, are mainly ok with it....The ones who matter less to us, have issues. Interesting.
Mind completely blown! That is awesome!
I am nowhere near being able to tell my family about it and likely never will. Just trying to share less controversial info with my mother is hard enough when she thinks anyone who isn't a fundamental baptist and conservative republican is a deviant and/or compulsive liar.
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  #24  
Old 09-20-2010, 10:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
WWWwooooooowwwwww! Ok, so today my wife came out to her mom completely. Her mom was ok with it! In fact, her mom said that she and my farther in law were in a relationship with another couple during the 70's. WHAT!!!!! Her mom noticed that L had stopped talking about S & D as much, and that she (L) sounded a little upset, and so asked her flat out if we (L and myself) had broken up with S&D. my wife said that we had, but that wasn't the reason for her being upset. She told her it was because of a new person in our lives, and myself, not exactly working out ideally. L told her mom that she (L) was seeing a guy and that he was a different race. (i.e. not white) Her mom said "Honey, I don't care if he's black, white, asian, or alien. As long as you're happy.". Wow....I never expected that! LOL So there you have it...The people who matter to us the most, are mainly ok with it....The ones who matter less to us, have issues. Interesting.
That's awesome to hear. When I told my mother (my wife was on the phone at the same time), she just repeated over and over that "open relationships don't work." Almost as if repeating a Mantra. It was quite funny actually. I quietly said "don't work as compared to what? All those excellent monogamous relationships in our family & extended family... of which I can name only one? 'Cause if that's working, at least my failure will be a ton more interesting!"

Months later when she was in town (actually only a couple of weeks ago), we sat at the edge of the lake and talked about everything. She managed to say at this point, that if you can make it work more power to you.

I'm out to a few friends and my sister. Slowly expanding that circle but feel no need to push it out to everyone. Though I have thought about posting it on facebook. Any facebook friend of mine paying close attention probably already knows because The Ethical Slut is in my book list, as well as certain info in my blog alludes to polyamory.
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  #25  
Old 09-22-2010, 07:39 PM
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Many of our friends guessed that we were poly before we came out. Some were shocked but supportive. We haven't actually lost anyone, I don't think. But I'm actually sad right now because it appears that someone who we thought was supportive actually feels very negatively about our choice to be poly. So, I feel your dilemna.

Our group policy was, just act like you're not doing anything wrong. Don't make a big deal about it and enjoy life as it comes. We haven't had any big announcements, except when I just can't stand the suspense of not knowing if a certain person knows and I spill the beans. I'm not a good secret keeper.

No way I would ever tell my mom, or my family. My mom knows about poly from other friends of ours, and disapproves heartily. But she recently shocked me by revealing that she knows I'm Pagan and she didn't have a heart attack, so who knows? We do quietly insist to family and friends that Asha and Sunday and their children are important people in our lives and they're not going away.
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  #26  
Old 09-22-2010, 11:19 PM
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TL4everu2, I teared up I was so happy to read that! I could feel your excitement in the post, ha ha. Yay for you!

We're just waiting to tell family until Joshua is done with his deployment/military. I am not sure how it will go or how we'll bring it up, but that's a ways off yet for us.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemondrop
Our group policy was, just act like you're not doing anything wrong. Don't make a big deal about it and enjoy life as it comes.
Good advice!
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  #27  
Old 09-23-2010, 10:26 PM
CowleyRoad CowleyRoad is offline
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TL4everu2, I'm so happy to hear that story! As Chuck Berry sang, "C'est la vie, say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell"!

B came out to her sister today about us...her sister said "Uh, I guess Hallmark doesn't make a card for that, but congratulations!" One day way in the future I might come out to my sister too, but probably not until after my father goes on Unfortunately my wife will probably be able to come out to her sister soon after hell freezes over, maybe not even then
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  #28  
Old 09-24-2010, 05:36 PM
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River River is offline
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Originally Posted by CowleyRoad View Post
Why are people who are usually tolerant on sexual minorities so anti-poly? You have to realize on this board I'm talking about, if you aren't a supporter of gay marriage, you're all but a pariah, so it's not as if this is some hotbed of social conservatism...and yet the level of anti-polyamory is fairly high.
In a word, the answer is ... Oprah.

It's all Oprah's fault. If Oprah Winfrey had had several good programs meant to educate the public about what polyamory is and why it's just as okay as being gay, we'd be sitting in the shade sipping lemonade.

More seriously, I think the problem is that polyamory is misunderstood. It's misunderstood largely because it is so marginalized that it's little talked about by people who can represent us accurately and compassionately / sympathetically. It's little talked about because it's largely invisible; and it's largely invisible because too many of us poly folk prefer to live in the closet ... because coming out sucks, because we're so "alone", because we're invisible.

Wash, rince, repeat.
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  #29  
Old 09-24-2010, 05:40 PM
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River River is offline
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If we were smart -- SERIOUSLY -- there'd be a topic in this forum on The Great Oprah-Poly Letter Writing Campaign. It'd involve getting the world out to the entire global poly community..., We'd all send Oprah a letter on The Poly Closet and how she could help us all break out of it.

All the letters should be sent on the same day, or week, so it floods her with 'em.

SERIOUSLY

Last edited by River; 09-24-2010 at 05:42 PM.
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  #30  
Old 09-24-2010, 06:00 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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you do know oprah is closing shop right?
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