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Old 09-20-2010, 07:07 AM
FormerUnicorn FormerUnicorn is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 119
Default How do I feel good about initiating contact?

I'm really struggling with how much to initiate conversation in my new connections.

I'm used to living with my husband, I'm used to being able to call him at any time when I'm apart from him, because I'm secure in the fact that he'll want to hear from me, and that I'm not interrupting his life. I feel secure in the fact that I can just tell him that I miss him and not feel like I am smothering him.

Outside of my husband, I don't call or text friends or family unless I have some very specific thing I want to talk about. I faithfully respond to anything sent my way, and enjoy talking with people when they do get in touch with me.

The real problem I'm having is that I've been feeling VERY strange about contacting the new people I'm getting to know. Rather ridiculously, my philosophy has been: Don't.

So I don't call, don't text. I try very hard not to IM. If they want to talk, I figure, they'll be in touch with me. Because I'm heartbroken if I try to make contact and there is no reply.

It's no surprise that I feel the most in touch with the guy who sends me little texts every day. Just that tiny bit of acknowledgment makes me feel amazing, makes me float through my day. And he hasn't even asked me out on a proper date yet.

And then I wait patiently, nervously, hoping to hear from anyone else, wondering if they thought about me at all that day.

This can't be healthy for me, and I'd love some perspective, please!
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