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Old 09-20-2010, 02:19 AM
figuringitout figuringitout is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 4
Default looking for advice

Hello everyone. I am new here and need some help and insight. I guess what I really want to know is how can one be sure whether they are just done with their relationship or if they are poly? I feel like a fake, and a poser and I don't know what to do. I have been married for 5 years (but living together for 11) to my DH. I started to fall for this other man and so told DH about it and asked him if he would be willing to think about a poly relationship. He was all for it, given that he has always felt a strong lean that direction. So anyway...I have been feeling (but denying and refusing to believe that I felt) like things had changed with my DH for a while now. I love him and always will. We have a child together and I adore him. But, I don't feel like I used to. I want to share raising our daughter together and I feel like i want to be his best friend, but a lot of the mushy stuff is gone. I just don't feel it anymore. Add to that the NRE feelings with this new man (who is by the way, very mono) and I just feel like I am living a lie here by saying that I am poly. I feel like I am wanting a relationship with the new man, but not wanting to break my DHs heart (b/c I do still care about him) or hurt our kid. I have told DH all of this, and he assures me that it's early, and I should just keep on keeping on and see what happens, but it feels like a charade. Help me?
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