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  #11  
Old 09-19-2010, 06:25 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
It sounds to me like the stereotypical mid-life crisis, minus the new sports car.

Feeling trapped in marriage/life? Check.
Feeling invigorated getting involved with sweet, young thing? Check.
Buying sports car to show continued virility? Um, you haven't been stopping by car lots, have you?

I'd say addressing the depression and mid-life crisis is the first order of business. Once you get yourself settled, then you can fully turn your attention to the relationships in your life.
I'm all for buying sports-cars to deal with your mid-life crisis but...

At the risk of hijacking this thread:

When I fell in love with that "other guy" last year, my friends decided that I was having a stereotypical "seven-year itch". I disagree with that. Not saying it doesn't happen, but it implies that something is wrong with your "real" relationship just because you have feelings for someone else. If I was really having a "seven-year itch", I would have turned around and found someone else to scratch it after being rejected by the other guy. That didn't happen.
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  #12  
Old 09-19-2010, 08:30 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
...Not saying it doesn't happen, but it implies that something is wrong with your "real" relationship just because you have feelings for someone else.
He claimed to feel trapped. That's one of the signs of the sterotypical mid-life crisis. Whether that means there is actually something wrong with the relationship or not is a matter for him to work out; as I understand things, sometimes such a crisis does indicate problems with a marriage and other times it has nothing to do with the marriage. So pointing out the resemblance to a mid-life crisis really doesn't indicate a judgement of something being wrong with the relationship--I'm simply responding to his discontent and suggesting he figure out the source of it.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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  #13  
Old 09-19-2010, 09:15 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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AT, I wasn't trying to discredit what you said, I was trying to offer an alternative perspective.
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