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Old 09-19-2010, 06:30 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Default poly fidelity... what is it?

I just realized something. My idea about poly fidelity is on the extreme end of what it means. I think that it is like some monogamous relationships whereby the two involved don’t have much going on outside of their partnership. They don’t have friends of their own and don’t do anything without the other. Not only that there is a notion that if they did then they would somehow be coerced into leaving the other because of a perceived deeper connection being developed.

I have been seeing poly fidelity in the same light as some monogamous co-dependant relationships. Sure there are some like that and that is fine, but there are not all… it’s a continuum (much like many things… poly/swinging, straight/gay, deep connection/acquaintance). I haven’t embraced poly-fi as a possible description for myself because I have several relationships going on at once and intend to have others. I am deeply connected to some people and have a lovely warm connection that makes my heart happy with others.

It comes down to sex really. Is Poly-fi is about sex? Sex with only a select few and is that group closed? Is there other options outside of that or is that not an option because you chose it or because it means losing someone you love?

Why does this come down to sex? I have sex with a select few and have deep relationships with many that I won’t be having sex with. Why is this a description at all? Why do I feel as if I am forced to use the term poly-fi as a description of my relationship dynamics when it doesn’t fit somehow? Is it because I see sex as a means to deep connection yet can have that connection otherwise? Does it somehow make light of my connections that aren’t sexual? I find this annoying for some reason… and am looking to get at the bottom of it….
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poly fidelity, poly-fi, relationship dynamics

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