non-sexual emotional connection

[Morningglory629]

Yep...perfect sense! Typically it takes a long time to feel that level of intimacy and trust. When it hits you like lightening, it leaves you feeling very unsure of what is right and what is wrong, what is real and what is fantasy. Very difficult to maneuever.

[MonoVCPHG]

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance

I think you deserve a couple extra!

I like your attitude !!

[anotherbo]

Personally, it's the "you're like a boyfriend, but I don't have to fuck you" that resonates wrong with me.

/agree Tonberry

I think it's crappy when two people are in a relationship of ANY status and haven't managed to iron out what level of "input" and "output" they are each interested in having, because it can result in someone feeling shafted.

/agree LovingRadiance

I think lots of people worry about losing friendships more than they worry about ironing this out. And it does often lead to hurt feelings.

And Mono... after all those beatings... I just hope you can still walk, talk and... whatever.


Anotherbo

[bimblynim]

Originally Posted by jkelly

Now, there is something about the way that many people do serial monogamy that means that opposite gender friends get dumped when a new relationship comes along. That sucks, and it's really bad behaviour on the part of those people..

Sometimes also same gender friends. Sorry, guess I'm still sore over X (tbh that will prob colour this post but its where i am atm), guess this is thread is also interesting for me for side link to poly and asexuality (but thats prob a different thread)

Ari- empathy if you got burned by friends dumping you (though seems like you're over it if you were) either way glad you now seem to be in a mostly happy place, gives me hope

Originally Posted by jkelly

But really, nobody owes us anything in exchange for kindness. If one has a friendship, one is kind to one's friend because one values him or her. .

I suppose it sucks when someone stops valuing you as you'd like but yeah (to borrow RPs phrase- which incidently i love) we just have to stick our big girl (or boy) panties on and deal.

None the less (I've been thinkiing about bounderies alot recently) I suppose I still feel I deserve to be treated with kindness and respect and a degree of reciprocity by my friends. Obviously we all give and take different things from each other and it's not a matter of checks and ballances, but I do think its possible to *feel* (and this may be a defence system) "used" by someone who takes more than they give and however unwittingly shifts ground rules to suit their needs (prob what you were aluding to in the serial monogamy point above) Although to be honest its probably also a matter of open communication and honesty re establishing what kind of thing you've got going on in the first place (the joy of hindsight!). I think thats what you mean by input/output LR? lots of what you said resonates with me, ta

Any way I live and learn. I know I now check out that people I am/get involved with are at least emotionally poly.

peace and love

[MonoVCPHG]

Originally Posted by anotherbo

Anotherbo

Still walking but I have some very pretty marks!