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Old 09-05-2010, 09:18 AM
TheNewGirl TheNewGirl is offline
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 7
Red face A mess of thoughts

When you find that connection its like lightening. Even before you touch, a hand a cheek a thigh, you know in the back of your mind that this person has touched you in a way others dont. The here is the person isnt who I am currently with. Its always been this way being in a committed relationship and wondering about how to be close to others without over stepping the boundaries of monogamy. Open relationships sound terrifying. I had never heard about polamory before this past month. The amount of open and honesty it must take. How vulnerable you have to be with your feeling. I feel so guilty all the time. I want to be honest and i have no idea how. Lets call her S ... is an amazing person and has been my friend for years. our interest in each other isnt new. But when i brought up thinking about having a poly relationship something changed. Our heat and passion for each other increased. Now it feels like the clock is ticking. I have no idea how to talk to my girlfriend of 5 years about this. how will she react. it feels like in a lesbian relationship jealousy is high and everyone know your business. I am not really sure where i am going with all this but free righting seems to clear my head.
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Old 09-05-2010, 06:50 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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That feeling of wanting to be near and vulnerable with someone other than a primary partner is very scary. Total fear at some point before being consumed by that feeling and lost in it (NRE).

Eventually my head came above the swoony, melty and gooey feelings of nre and I found myself swimming! I learned how to swim in feelings for both! It is possible and wonderful. It just takes diving in, thrashing around and learning on the fly. Perhaps this woman is your swimming pool to learn how to swim in so that you can be with both your loves.
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Old 09-06-2010, 06:15 AM
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TeJoKo TeJoKo is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Lakewood, WA
Posts: 66
Smile I wish you luck

Bringing it up with your girlfriend will be a delicate task. I think it is a little harder for monogamous relationships to turn polyamorous, than it is for say, an open relationship to turn polyamorous, but I do believe it can be done. I have no experience in it, however.

My only advice to you is to make sure everything is going smoothly in your current relationship before you even bring up the idea of seeing anyone else. I have been polyamorous for years, but when my boyfriend met a new girl recently and started seeing her it threw me into all sorts of rageful jealousy. It may be because I've never had one of my men actually have feelings for a woman who had feelings for him, or that it moved too fast... but I think the biggest problem was/is that our relationship hasn't been going that great as it is.

Other than that, I can only say to be honest and open. And handle the situation with care.
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