Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions


Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 09-04-2010, 01:21 AM
ArchiePunker ArchiePunker is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 9
Default Is this poly? NRE? the end??? Help!!!

Hi, My wife and I decided to explore Polyamory about 5 months ago. We had discussed it lightly before because even though we are (were) very much in love, we had become somewhat co-dependent and bored. Then one day, she came home and asked if it was cool if she went to coffee with her personal trainer. Im 34, she's 31, and he's 49. I accepted and after further discussion, we decide to give the poly lifestyle a try. The first two months were incredible. We were talking more than we had in years, having lunch together allot and going on dates, we've always had great sex but, now it was even better and more often. I was beginning to adjust to Jim (trainer guy) and she was adjusting to the girls I was dating (I haven't found someone steady yet).

Then things began to change. I read all about NRE as did she in books like The Ethical Slut. However, progressively she wanted to spend less and less time with me.

Now, she's saying that she's never loved someone like she likes this guy and that she wants to maintain a relationship with me but, not a romantic one.

We have 2 small children and I don't want to break up my family however, the pain of this process and the fact that Im unsure if this will ever rebuild itself into a real relationship again is killing me! Maybe we could have been a better couple to each other and maybe I should have paid more attention to our relationship however, I always considered myself a good husband. She says she loves me but, I dont know if I can deal with the everyday mechanics of a relationship, raising the kids together, taking care of responsibilities, etc, and not be romantically involved with this person whom I love.

Anyone ever experience anything like this? Think its NRE and we will eventually find a way to reconnect?

Everything is so uncomfortable and strained. Even the look in her eyes when we speak seems flat and lacking something that was there before.


Reply With Quote

anxiety, boundaries, children, children and polyamory, co-dependence, co-dependency, communication, compromise, coupledom, dependancy, divorce, excuses, expectations, feeling ignored, foundations, introduction, justifications, lessons, limerence, long distance, mono / poly, mono/poly, new relationship energy, new to polamory, new to polyamory, nre, nre overflow, nre timescale, responsibilities, romantacies, secondaries, secondary, secondary feelings, separation anxiety, vee

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 10:36 AM.