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  #21  
Old 08-23-2010, 06:15 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Originally Posted by Passionista View Post
I do know that many women in poly or swinging or experimenting relationships try many things they normally wouldn't at the urging of their S/O, some even under duress and with many regrets.
I have noticed some of this too. The way you said this was just fine Passionista... you didn't generalize and clearly say that "many" and "some" experience this... all seems quite clear that you don't mean every woman. Don't worry about censoring yourself; if you use language in the way you have above, if someone takes offense then I would suggest that they are the ones that need to look inward. You seem to be writing just fine.

I have noticed far more bi-curious women or bi-situational women than actually bi. To me, my pansexuality is about being able to love a woman and desirous of her sexuality merging with mine. Not about poking around her body cause it is kinda cool to check it out and "weeeee look at me I am bi. Do you find this hot honey?"

I think men can be just as bi as women, they just haven't caught up to being open about it in our society... as Magdlyn said, there are many that are underground and bursting to be understood and open without it in some way being an attach on their masculinity if they do.

By the way, I am thinking that you were joking Fleur...? I, for one, need no help from anyone in conducting my bi activities. How about you? Do you need help? Can I be of assistance?
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  #22  
Old 08-24-2010, 06:55 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Originally Posted by rabbit View Post
I think the fact that being bi is listed as a choice, as well as the assumption that bi women are better, are insulting.

Being bi isn't a choice, just like being gay or straight isn't a choice. My life would be a lot easier in a lot of ways if I was straight (not that I wish I was, but the whole "choice" thing completely invalidates the experience of being a sexual minority in a heteronormative society).

I think it's one thing to say "I prefer being with bi women" but to say that they are flat out better or smarter is pretty lame.
It would likely also be easier to be gay. I find that a lot of lesbian women don't believe that you can be bi. They either think that you're in denial or that you're just messing around with women for fun without any chance of it developing into a relationship.

And I also second that it isn't a choice. I really don't get why people think it is a choice.
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  #23  
Old 08-24-2010, 06:59 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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The only "choice" involved is how you ACT, not in how you FEEL.
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  #24  
Old 08-24-2010, 08:29 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
It would likely also be easier to be gay. I find that a lot of lesbian women don't believe that you can be bi. They either think that you're in denial or that you're just messing around with women for fun without any chance of it developing into a relationship.

And I also second that it isn't a choice. I really don't get why people think it is a choice.
Ugh. I hate this attitude so much ... I actually get more nervous coming out to gay people than straight people.
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  #25  
Old 08-24-2010, 10:30 PM
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Ugh. I hate this attitude so much ... I actually get more nervous coming out to gay people than straight people.
Yep me too. Especially since I am engaged to a straight male, I feel like I might look like an imposter somehow. And I totally realize that I get some of the "hetero privilege" because unless I say something it looks like I'm straight, which makes me feel like I really am an imposter... sigh.
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  #26  
Old 08-25-2010, 06:16 AM
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Originally Posted by vandalin View Post
But if you look for MMF, where there is also male on male sex, it is a lot more difficult, or at least does not come up as often. Of course, this is just from my own searching/viewing experience which may not be as extensive as others.
When I turned 18, I was so excited to go out and rent porn for my birthday party. I got two videos, one was supposedly "bisexual porn". The "bisexual" part consisted of a naked woman standing beside the bed while 4 guys gang banged each other. :/ I got ripped off, not one penis went in a vagina!!

In mainstream porn, they don't even bother calling it bisexual if the women are making out with each other, with some guys fucking random holes. It's just "regular" porn. Hell, half the so-called "lesbian porn" I've seen still has men in it! Yeesh! Thus perpetuating the fantasy that any hot lesbian couple is secretly just waiting for a guy to break down the door and fuck them both. Argh.
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Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 08-25-2010 at 06:19 AM.
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  #27  
Old 08-25-2010, 10:30 AM
freeantigone freeantigone is offline
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Rabbit, TP, Derby, I am so happy to hear other bi/pansexuals echoing my feelings. It seems that being bi is often viewed as 'in denial' or 'not gay enough' for the gay community, and a fair amount of the straight community think you only exist to make out with another woman in front of them or are a handy addition to their lovemaking*

*This isn't to say I'm averse to threesomes of course
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  #28  
Old 08-25-2010, 11:43 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Several of my best friends are bisexual... actually it was weird because we were a close group and they all came out as bisexual, and not me, and it was like everyone was looking at me and waiting... sorry guys and gals, I'm totally straight
Anyways, my point was that yes, they have had the same problems. Gay people thinking they "have it easy" because they can pretend to be straight, people in general thinking it's a phase, people thinking bisexuality doesn't exist because you "have" to prefer one or the other...

Ironically I've always felt like bisexuality seemed the most... "normal" thing to me. As in, it seems to me, it would be much better if everyone was bi rather than some people being restricted to one sex.

And of course, no choice involved! While I realise as a straight woman I get the most fortunate sexual orientation, I also know not being bisexual is limiting the kind of experiences I can have, so if I could choose... Well, I don't know if I'd be willing to take all the discrimination that would go with it, mind you -_-'.
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  #29  
Old 08-25-2010, 12:29 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Dont worry, Tonberry, it's probably just a phase. You just havent met the right woman yet.


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me: Mags, 58, living with:
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  #30  
Old 09-03-2010, 06:23 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Default haha, joke....

‎"two couples in ireland decided to swap partners. In the morning paddy asked murphy 'I wonder how the girls got on'" (why ireland? I mean really....)

Also a link to a screen play on the same topic.

http://www.scotto.org/listing.php?id=561

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