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  #11  
Old 09-02-2010, 03:35 PM
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I am feeling a lot more hopeful after finding this community.

I was starting to question the idea of a woman enjoying her place as a secondary partner, but I am getting the impression its not near as rare as I was thinking....

I've been doing a lot of reading here.

I'm coming up with a lot of questions..

I was also worried that most Poly advocates were older then me. I have seen several 20 somethings here already.... That's nice to see too.

I do live in a smaller community. I don't know if there would be a Poly group here... :/

It sounds like long distance relationships are fairly common as well? I certainly wouldn't be opposed to doing something like that for a while. It actually might be a good way to get my feet wet and make sure my wife is okay with me getting emotionally involved with another.

I am excited. I hope I can make some friends here!

-Andy
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  #12  
Old 09-02-2010, 06:17 PM
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Why not consider an age difference? The thing with poly is that there are options. Why not consider a woman who has had her kids, her husband, her house etc and wants to be more independant. You were saying you would be okay with a gf leaving to go and do more traditional stuff, well why not think of someone who is at a different life stage. My Mono works well for our dynamic because he doesn't want a wife. He has done all that and wants different things now. He isn't older, he's actually younger, but finding a woman who has been and done that means older perhaps.
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  #13  
Old 09-02-2010, 07:40 PM
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I am actually really open on the age... to a point. I am 26, will be 27 Saturday...

I'd be open to ages from 18-40ish provided there is mutual atttraction. But anything much over that could make it ackward for me. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone as old or older then my parents or something....

It would be a huge turn on for me to be with someone in their mid 30's or so. I've never been with an older woman, and I think emotionally it would be fun. Maybe sexually too if we got that far.

I would be a little worried about someone closer to the 18 bracket, as its a confusing time in life and one of my goal is to create no scars on anyone's life. So i'd have to be comfortable she knew what she was doing.

You raise an interesting point, redpepper. And one I have pondered before. My wife has the qualities I want in someone I would spend the rest of my life with, but there are things I find interesting or attractive about people, but maybe can't see myself married to them. So I guess getting to play in the poly world would allow me to possibly get to experience things I would not otherwise. Quite a plesent thought, really.
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  #14  
Old 09-02-2010, 08:38 PM
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Quote:
Why not consider a woman who has had her kids, her husband, her house etc and wants to be more independant.
Just re-read your post...

Do you see many married women in the Poly world that re seeking just a boyfriend?

I am not at all opposed to that situation, but I guess where I have seen that situation is where the wife is bored and cheats.

I'm not cool with that. But would be fine if her husband was aware of everything.
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  #15  
Old 09-02-2010, 09:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy4700 View Post
Just re-read your post...

Do you see many married women in the Poly world that re seeking just a boyfriend?

I am not at all opposed to that situation, but I guess where I have seen that situation is where the wife is bored and cheats.

I'm not cool with that. But would be fine if her husband was aware of everything.
Oh ya, totally. I know a lot of poly women my age that have kids and have been married, have a career and want someone who is not looking to have that with them. Often they want the option of many loves and have many experiences and fun as they haven't in the past.

Nothing like a mature woman! so confident, sure of themselves, know what they want out of life and relationships, aren't afraid of their sexuality and have dropped the body image crap. Very good option for sure.
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  #16  
Old 09-02-2010, 10:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I know a lot of poly women my age that have kids and have been married, have a career and want someone who is not looking to have that with them.
Are you speaking of women who have been married, but are now divorced? Or women who are still married and looking for more - kind of the female version of what I want...?

I can see how what you're saying could make sense to a divorced woman who has no desire to re-marry, but still wants to be loved.

I can also see it as a easy option for a single mother who isn't ready to seriously date until her children are older, but still wants someone stable in her life to be there for her.

Seems as though there would be a lot of options for me if it wernt for the social clichés of modern life. :/
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  #17  
Old 09-02-2010, 10:43 PM
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Women who aren't cheating, put it that way.
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  #18  
Old 09-02-2010, 10:49 PM
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You certainly give me hope
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  #19  
Old 09-02-2010, 11:51 PM
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There are such people in your neck of the woods on this very forum, believe it or not. It's not for me to say who they are.
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  #20  
Old 09-03-2010, 12:32 AM
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There are such people in your neck of the woods on this very forum, believe it or not. It's not for me to say who they are.
Oh your a stinker! Who!!
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