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Old 08-29-2010, 06:41 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
She says you can have Attachment for one while having Romantic Love for another. She doesn’t say you can have Attachment for more than one though..what message does this really imply? Does this mean she doesn’t think you can have all three for more than one person?

I've e-mailed her directly for some clarification and hopefully will get a response
Hi every one. I got a response from Doctor Fisher and also her permission to share her comments. I also pointed her in the direction of Polyamory.com and she has been reading the forum.

Here is my email to her and her response.


"I just watched a video of yours on Ted.com which spoke about why we love and cheat. It was very interesting and thought provoking. I am very curious about the idea of loving more than one as I am in a polyamorous relationship as a monogamous person. At 1730 you state that you can be in love with more than one person and attribute this to the three brain systems, Lust, Romantic Love and Attachment. You point out that they are not always in sync but that they can be in sync. You also say that a person can have Attachment for one while having Romantic Love for another. However you donąt say that a person can have attachment for more than one though? Does this mean you donąt think a person can have all three brain systems engaged for more than one person at a time?

I am merely curious and am not looking for an offical statement. You were sort of quoted on our Poly Board and I found it very intriguing."


"I apologize for being so slow to respond. I am overwhelmed with work. But to answer your question briefly. I certainly think you can feel deep attachment to more than one person at a time. We see this all the time. You can be attached to your work, your family, your children, and more than one lover. The attachment system doesn't seem to focus on just one person. Same with the sex drive. You can feel lust for several people at a time. But I don't think you can feel INTENSE romantic love for more than one person at a time. This particular brain system is associated with deep and intense focus on one individual, and people tend to get quite possessive too."

There's more info that she generously sent me and I will share it soon.
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