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  #11  
Old 08-27-2010, 02:24 AM
jkelly jkelly is offline
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
IXm a little curious if your husband isn't seriously concerned about this woman's chronic dishonesty towards relationships.
Yeah, that's a puzzler. Why is he choosing to be involved with someone who isn't interested enough in his life to even meet his wife, and who seems to have a preference for dishonest relationships?
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  #12  
Old 08-27-2010, 02:26 AM
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Wondering Wondering is offline
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Originally Posted by Ilove2men View Post
Ick... I say go with your gut. It just depends on what your poly is. Are you okay with your husband having a double life that excludes you. ( With a repeated mistress) Does he really want a double life? It works for some ( minus the mistress part.)
neither he nor i want to lead double lives but he is hoping she will come around. I really don't think she will though. But in the end i do have to do what is going to make me happy and safe
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  #13  
Old 08-27-2010, 02:28 AM
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Originally Posted by jkelly View Post
Yeah, that's a puzzler. Why is he choosing to be involved with someone who isn't interested enough in his life to even meet his wife, and who seems to have a preference for dishonest relationships?
well he doesn't see it as being dishonest. He is blaming the guys from her past as the ones lying and cheating. I am trying to get him to see that she is doing it as well. Not having much luck though.
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  #14  
Old 08-27-2010, 02:29 AM
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I don't know about your history but I would definitely take every precaution to make yourself sexually safe with this woman in his/your life.
Second time i have heard that today......i told him at dinner tonight that i am seriously thinking about going back to using protection with him everytime. I am that scared or paranoid how ever you want to see it.
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  #15  
Old 08-27-2010, 03:18 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Second time i have heard that today......i told him at dinner tonight that i am seriously thinking about going back to using protection with him everytime. I am that scared or paranoid how ever you want to see it.
Good for you my friend
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  #16  
Old 08-27-2010, 06:48 AM
FireChild FireChild is offline
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Mono shoots.....Mono scores.


Bitch would have to hit the curb. We're a team. Take your whorin' ways elsewhere we're trying to build real relationships. And please please please be safe. Skankosaurus could be contagious.
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  #17  
Old 08-27-2010, 12:12 PM
Hartless Hartless is offline
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Personally, I don't need my partners or partners' partners to be best friends. It would be lovely, don't get me wrong, but I think that is unrealistic. Having said that, I need people to be able to meet and be civil to each other. If they can't manage that, that is a deal breaker for me. I wouldn't be happy in a situation where my partner's partner did not want to meet me or get to know me.

It sounds like you have a really bad vibe off this woman, and part of me is wondering why your partner isn't listening to your concerns. The information you have given so far about this woman suggests you don't trust her to be respectful of your relationship, and that would raise alarm bells for me.

Hope the situation gets resolved xx
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  #18  
Old 08-27-2010, 12:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Hartless View Post
Personally, I don't need my partners or partners' partners to be best friends. It would be lovely, don't get me wrong, but I think that is unrealistic. Having said that, I need people to be able to meet and be civil to each other. If they can't manage that, that is a deal breaker for me. I wouldn't be happy in a situation where my partner's partner did not want to meet me or get to know me.

It sounds like you have a really bad vibe off this woman, and part of me is wondering why your partner isn't listening to your concerns. The information you have given so far about this woman suggests you don't trust her to be respectful of your relationship, and that would raise alarm bells for me.

Hope the situation gets resolved xx
I agree i don"t want to be her best friend but i would like to know her some. I didn't get a bad vibe from her right away this has been a slow building thing. At the beginning he and i had sex while he was having phone sex with her (i know strange but they were in a long distance relationship and to honest it was really hot). We did it twice and when he asked if she would like to do it agian she said no which was cool but then that is when it started that he shut off and things with her become more secret.
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  #19  
Old 08-27-2010, 12:34 PM
Hartless Hartless is offline
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Secret or seperate?

I know my partners wouldn't dream of getting involved with each other. I have two totally seperate relationships in that respect. But they do have a building friendship and I do talk to them about the other one in general conversation.

I think you need to figure out exactly what is bothering you about this woman and her relationship with your partner, and discuss it with them openly if that feels appropriate. (That's my advice anyway!)
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  #20  
Old 08-27-2010, 12:41 PM
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I am talking to him about it but i am not sure he is hearing me. She and I don't talk so I can't talk to her . I'm just trying to make sure i am not expecting too much and what i want is realistic. Because if I am then I need to look into myself and figure somethings out.
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