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  #11  
Old 08-15-2010, 06:55 AM
AliS AliS is offline
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hi vexxed....how are you finding it? I am new into it, so not only trying to work out the kinks of having a new boyfriend who isnt into communication (txt, emails or calls) but the whole poly thing too
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  #12  
Old 08-15-2010, 03:26 PM
Vexxed Vexxed is offline
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AliS, I haven't been doing very well. We have certainly had our good times, but I've caused a bit of drama for us also. I was dishonest and did not disclose some very important things about my sexual history. That was an earlier mistake. A more recent mistake is that I broke boundaries and didn't disclose it, then bent the truth when I confessed, then finally confessed to all of it, over the phone.

She is 2,000 miles away on vacation right now. We agreed over the phone that we wanted to work it out, and both said that we love each other. She should be back in town in about 17 days.

I'm reading the book Radical Honesty right now, and I so wish that I would have read it last year before meeting her. This book is not about polyamory, but the section on building intimacy for couples, and what he has to say about communicating about sex is very valuable information, in my opinion.

At the root of my problems is that I have been insecure. She has been a wonderful partner.
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  #13  
Old 08-15-2010, 06:09 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Hi there, My boyfriend is on here, Mono. He has a lot of experience... he was also married and now is doing just fine living alone and being in my life when he can... which is a lot now, it wasn't at the beginning. He is very merged with our lives now. Try doing a tag search and see what you come up with. There have been discussions about being a third on here for example.
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  #14  
Old 08-15-2010, 10:01 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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You beat me by a handful of hours RP!
I was just reading the thread thinking.... "Mon is one..."


I am the wife. But welcome to the board!!
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  #15  
Old 08-15-2010, 10:10 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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And a damn happy mono boyfriend I am
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  #16  
Old 08-17-2010, 05:35 AM
LoveWarrior LoveWarrior is offline
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I am the mono GF of a binogamous woman who has a BF of a couple of years. While not married (and not gonna be), they do have a commitment to each other. Being the new comer to this situation has its challenges because they have a head start of intimacy which is something that I want in my life.

We are also challenged by distance...which, I think is also a good thing for us since my GF and I are both passionate and totally gah gah for each other.

Admittedly, I have had moments when I have considered dating another woman.. locally but, in all honestly, I am so in love with my GF that another woman in my life would just be a stand-in for when I am not able to see her. And that just seems wrong to me.

I am finding that I have to be careful negotiating this emotional space that I am drawn to when we are unable to be together. This place says to me: well she has someone else. You can too. While I know that to be a potential truth in the matter, I am also well aware of the fact that my GF has a GF and a BF because that is HOW she is. The same is not necessarily true for me.

Still, I have not completely closed the door on that option.

All this to say, I know this place of confusion. I get through it by focusing on the immense love and support I have in this relationship. Stay strong and true.
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  #17  
Old 08-24-2010, 02:00 AM
Brunetteangel03 Brunetteangel03 is offline
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hi there! This is all very new to me too! I am in a Triad. I am the gf of both the wife and husband in the relationship. this def has it's challenges. it is difficult in a way to be an addition in a way, but i think we are working out the kinks a bit. I am still feeling a little like the third wheel sometimes though. but he put my mind at ease one night when he told me i was an addition to their little clan and not just second best.
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  #18  
Old 08-24-2010, 06:56 AM
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Don't forget too that you might be an addition to their life, but they are also an addition to yours. They also need to be conscious of that and begin knowing what your life is about, blend into that a bit too. Its not all about them. Its about each of you.
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