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Old 04-10-2009, 05:22 AM
Futants Futants is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2
Default Am I wrong on this issue?

unusual story even for poly couples, but here goes//....


I'm a 28 year old male that's been in a relationship w/ a 22 yr old college student female. We both agreed from the beginning that we were to have an open relationship for numerous reasons, one being she didn't want to feel deprived of sexual experiences in her youth and neither of us wants control and jealousy.....

I invited her to live with me 2 1/2 years ago because it was practical and I thought it would draw us closer together.......we have had our issues and her constant scattered thought process, anxiety over school/us and her future, the occasional moody tantrum, fear of that she can't handle relationships( which plenty of times results in her having a talk w/ me about potentially just being friends......this happens all too often though)

her ambivilance confuses me because most of the time she and I are extremely loveable, but when I hint that she may have a light form of bipolar disorder ( which her mother has a terrible form of along w/ schizophrenia), she gets defensive and doubtful w/ me.



I've been the biggest and virtually only form of major love and support for her away from her parents and in a foreign state

To add a twist to this, she and I have never been able to have actual sex because she, for 3 years made up excuses or wasn't motivated to get surgery for a vaginal blockage she has (a very thick hymenal wall )......


this is where the big recent issue gets worse.....


She recently has been hanging out with and slept over a guys house last week on campus that she says she's known for 3 years. She fooled around with him that night, and when I hadn;t seen her for a few nights this week and expected her home waiting for me, she was at this guys apartment "just playing poker and drinking a beer".



This is all fine and well except for one major thing


her and I haven't been sexually intimate in months!


not only this, but last week ( could've been the day after she screwed around w/ this other guy, don't remember) she had the most enthusiasm and motivations to look into the vaginal surgery and actually make an appointment........more initiative than she had before she was close to or actually did things with the other guy.

lastly she claims that " she thought it would spice things up between the two of us".......and I;m like "wtf? that doesn't even make sense, and looks like a lame form of an excuse or to make it look any less screwed up.


she was also confused and aggravated with me when I claimed that "You managed to cheat in an open relationship" and she disagrees.



am I wrong on being hurt over these things?

How could someone do something so screwed up and unethical even in an open relationship and yet not realize it?
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