I need another point of view or two. My fiance' told me as we were considering wheather or not we wanted to date that he was poly, he completely explained it and told me where to find another group on the net. I just found this one. He currently has no other person in his life and he is in prison yes he will be getting out but not for nearly 7 more years. I did not know him prior to his going to prison, and he is paying for what he did at a very young age. If he had had a real attorney instead of a court appointed joke he wouldn't have ever gone to prison to begin with, but then I would have probably never met him. Anyway I had had some personal baggage, I pretty much hated men, and I never considered another female yet I fell hopelessly in love with him and felt like I could do whatever he ask me to do ~ when he gets out. He knows he has nothing to worry about concerning cheating. I thought I had plenty of time to get used to the idea. We might not even be togeather in 7 years.
I had no problem with this... yet. Now the problem, he ask me to go try poly without him, because he obviously cannot do this with me yet, or if I'm not comfortable with that to go find a girlfriend. He's not jealous of "my needs", he wants to see my needs fulfilled. He cannot imagine an unfulfilled sex life. He wants to see me happy. We do fantasy "stuff" on the phone and it's great, but that's all it is, fantasy. I don't know if I can truly do this poly, however I agree with him that I cannot know if I like or dislike this until I have tryed it. I've kind of been looking for a girlfriend. I have confided this for the last couple of years to my daughter who really liked the idea of poly and has since when out and found a couple. She likes it... hey mikey... I feel stuck. I thought about faking like I have a girlfriend, just like a fantasy. He would be happy but I know this is not what he wants. I don't even know where to begin, he says to go get a girly magazine and look through
> the personals to find either a couple or a girlfriend. I don't know where to start. He told me that regardless of wheather or not I do this he will still love me and want to be with me, reminded me that he told me from the beginning that he wanted this, I'm not trying to change his mind. I don't know how to move it past fantasy to reality.